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winkshine · Oct 6, 2011, 05:55 PM

I have been with the love of my life for a year and a half and feel totally rejected. 5 months into our relationship I got pregnant and he was very happy and supportive. He said I was his soul mate and the love of his life and wanted to marry me. After I got pregnant things have went downhill. I am a beautiful girl but he acts like I am not even there. It has been sixth months since my son was born and I work out everyday. We make love maybe once a week and when I am naked he does not even look at me. I found out recently that he was looking at porn all the time. It has been 2 months since he has, so he says and still nothing. He says he is afraid to get me pregnant again and it has nothing to do with me. I do everything for him and try to be close all the time. I feel terrible inside and rejected. Any suggestions or advice would be great...

FadedMaster · Oct 6, 2011, 07:30 PM

Before we can offer advice, we need to know how old the two of you are.

Cat1864 · Oct 7, 2011, 05:10 AM

Since the newer site interface supposedly asks for verification that the person is over 18 before allowing posters to view the Adult Sexuality board, I am going to answer your question.

I am also answering because you are going to other threads and using your own experience to say that porn is bad. After reading your question, I don't think porn is the underlying issue in your problems.

Your boyfriend probably is afraid of getting you pregnant again. Are you on better birth control than you were before your pregnancy? Even with good birth control being properly used there is still a chance of pregnancy. So don't dismiss his fear as nothing. Talk about it. Get it out in the open.

It sounds like you need to sit down with your boyfriend and discuss the issues. Don't immediately blame porn and don't allow him to place the blame on it. Find out what else is causing problems. I don't think porn and masturbation are the only ones.

Ask him if he sees you differently due to the pregnancy. Some men have a problem with separating the roles of the women in their lives-mother and lover. They have a difficult time seeing the mother of their child as their lover. Some have problems adjusting to the thought that a baby was inside and came out of their lover's body. It can be even harder for those who witnessed the delivery. If it is the problem, it is something he will have to overcome in his own mind.

How is the rest of your relationship? Does he help with your child? Is he affectionate at other times? Do you do things together to strengthen your relationship and work on learning more about each other?

FadedMaster · Oct 7, 2011, 03:27 PM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Since the newer site interface supposedly asks for verification that the person is over 18 before allowing posters to view the Adult Sexuality board, I am going to go ahead and answer your question.

I am also answering because you are going to other threads and using your own experience to say that porn is bad. After reading your question, I don't think porn is the underlying issue in your problems.

Your boyfriend probably is afraid of getting you pregnant again. Are you on better birth control than you were before your pregnancy? Even with good birth control being properly used there is still a chance of pregnancy. So don't dismiss his fear as nothing. Talk about it. Get it out in the open.

It sounds like you need to sit down with your boyfriend and discuss the issues. Don't immediately blame porn and don't allow him to place the blame on it. Find out what else is causing problems. I don't think porn and masturbation are the only ones.

Ask him if he sees you differently due to the pregnancy. Some men have a problem with separating the roles of the women in their lives-mother and lover. They have a difficult time seeing the mother of their child as their lover. Some have problems adjusting to the thought that a baby was inside and came out of their lover's body. It can be even harder for those who witnessed the delivery. If it is the problem, it is something he will have to overcome in his own mind.

How is the rest of your relationship? Does he help with your child? Is he affectionate at other times? Do you do things together to strengthen your relationship and work on learning more about each other?

Did not know that the new interface supposedly asked for age verification. Good to know.

And of course, as usual, good advice.

winkshine · Oct 10, 2011, 11:07 AM

Faded Master,
Thank you for your response. To answer your questions I am over 18.I had a long talk with my boyfriend and he said it has nothing to do with me or not wanting me anymore. He said he is really scared for me to have another baby, not that he does not want another one, just not right now and we have a baby now and he works long hours and is exhausted. He said he will make more of an effort, as for the other part of our relationship he is a great father and he hugs and kisses me all the time..