[yay1212]

I've been with my boyfriend for 15 months, and he's leaving me to Toronto for school in a couple months. In the first month that he found he was leaving me to go Toronto for school, we both agreed that a long-distance relationship doesn't work, so we were just going to be together temporarily. But for the time being, things were good, we were happy, and our relationship was going well.

Until one day... I asked him if I could look through his phone. (He didn't like me looking through his phone, since I caught him saying stupid things to his best female friend, but I know for sure that he doesn't talk to her anymore.) He said no. Obviously he had something to hide, so I grabbed his phone in front of him and tried to look through his texts, but he quickly grabbed it back and *****ed at me. He thinks that I don't trust him and why should he let me check his phone if I don't believe him.

He left me, and we didn't speak for days and even on our anniversary. I found it so stupid that he was mad about this. I let it go because, after all, he's leaving me to go Toronto in a couple months. It wasn't worth trying to fight for. I went to him and confronted him about it and asked if he still wanted to be with me. He hesitated at first. I was desperate because I thought everything between us was good. He said he wanted to be alone, and it wouldn't make sense because our relationship was stable and happy and now he wanted to be alone? So in the end, he gave in, was willing to give me another chance.

Next day, I got drunk and told him everything I felt about him, and he understood. Two weeks later, he came over to my house and passed out. I took advantage of him by looking through his phone at the texts. There was one girl whom he was texting, and it seemed like they had hung out earlier or something because he said that she had gotten him sick. So I went through his phone calls. He hung out with her on the night before, and told me that he was hanging out with only guys (basically he lied).

So then I went on his Facebook messages. He was messaging to the same girl whom he hung out with. He had said really messed-up things to her like "Hey, cutie" "naww, I might wait up because you're cute" "you're naughty" "I bet you're naked in bed" "wanna go clubbing?" When he asked her what was her type in guys, she said that she was falling for his type after all the things he had said to her. He was leading her on. And she asked him if she was his type and he replied "maybe ;)" so I got mad and hurt.

I confronted my boyfriend about it. He denied everything and lied to me. He said he didn't know her or talk to her. In the end, I told him that I had talked to her, and she told me she didn't know he had a girlfriend and was sure it was him.

I don't understand why would he do this to me. I thought we were good together. I mean, he was still emotionally attached to me. Why would he do this to me?

[JoshNichols]

The reason he couldn't let you go is because he cared for you for so long. I hate to say it but I think your relationship is over. He is clearly cheating on you or at least trying to. I'd say he doesn't want to be with you anymore but at the same time he's too scared to lose you.

Its not healthy to be in this kind of relationship. It would be best if you have another talk with him and end it, the longer it drags on the worse it will feel for you.

Good Luck

[talaniman]

He thought he was slick, but now you know he is a liar, that will cheat, and should no longer deal with him. He likes you, but he also likes others, and he is leaving any way. Good riddance.

He is a dog, so that's why he did it, and that's how dogs act. Even if he was a nice dog, he is still a dog.

[vanheart]

"we both agreed that a long-distance relationship doesn't work"
Solid agreement right? Or not?

"I took advantage of him by looking through his phone at the texts."
Why? After that agreement?

"I mean, he was still emotionally attached to me. Why would he do this to me?"

That's all in your head. He wasn't emotionally attached, Just you are.

Here's the thing. Hes moving & obviously want to keep his options. He always did.

Now its all about your options.

[ACDail]

"we both agreed that a long-distance relationship doesn't work"
Solid agreement right? Or not?

"I took advantage of him by looking through his phone at the texts."
Why? After that agreement?

"I mean, he was still emotionally attached to me. Why would he do this to me?"

Thats all in your head. He wasnt emotionally attached, Just you are.

Heres the thing. Hes moving & obviously want to keep his options. He always did.

Now its all about your options.

* totally agree

[WisperWill70]

Yes to the above - he's not emotionally attached,. you are. Also he's not emotionally cheating -- he's partying, drinking, chatting random girls up -- and probably having sex with other girls. He's acting like a young guy.

Why would he do this? See above! -- All this means is that there's nothing in the world wrong with you -- he's just not at the maturity level to deal with a relationship and you can't be happy struggling with this, "oh he loves me so much, oh why did he do this, I thought things were fine." --- things were good -- but that doesn't change the fact that he's not where you are emotionally and a long distance relationship with him wouldn't work out - much less when he's trying to sow his oats.

Time for you to move forward with your life... take time, cry, grieve - but you have to now focus on you.