[Mpho13]

I'm in love with a 32 year old guy. We been dating online for a few months now, but at times I feel like I don't know him anymore. He takes a complete 360 and starts ignoring my messages, calls and me in general. For no reason. And when I confront him he tells me his mind is not clear and he doesn't understand why he doing this to me. He either breaks down on the phone at other days and other times he shuts the world and me out. I'm getting fustrated because he doesn't want to let me in.I know he was diagnosed with clinical depression years back, I suggested we take a break so that he can clear his mind and decide what he wants, but he refuses to let me go and I think our relationship is harming him.I'm 24 years old and I'm afraid life will pass me by, I need to know is it worth staying in this heartsore relationship. I'm in love with him but it hurts been treated like this.

[answerme_tender]

Typing someone over the computer and speaking to them over phone to me doesn't come down to dating. Dating to me is when you meet someone face to face you out to dinner, movie,dancing, baseball game, something that you do together. Someone that you can look into their eyes, hold their hand,etc.

So your 24 yrs talking w/ a 32yro man over the computer. Now you are saying he has openly told you he has mental depression. He has even proven to you he that he is unstable with his emotions and yet you are willing to put yourself out there so life doesn't pass you by. What the heck do you think is going to happen to you in the future when your whole world depends on what mood he is in at the time. Are you willing to bring children into this situation?

Now don't get me wrong I am not saying that people with clinical depression cannot live their life to the fullest. I am asking if you have really thought beyond being alone what you will be expected of you.

Now here is another perspective to this. How do you know that he isn't married. That could be a good reason as to why he can only contact at certain time, why there maybe time between contact. Lets play devils advocate here. If he is married maybe he is trying to get play on your emotions. One thing about us women is that we are emotional caretakers. We like to feel needed and that we can fix all emotional needs.

If he isn't treating you well over a computer how in the heck will he treat you in person. Why not try a dating service on line. Where you actually meet a person, get to know them by going to dinner.

Take Care

[JoeCanada76]

Your not really in a relationship. You do not even really know each other. You have never really dated.

This may be a loss of a friendship but that is all it is at this point.
Think you would be better to leave well alone and try to find somebody that can be close to you in more ways then one.

[talaniman]

If you want a healthy adult relationship, you have to have a healthy adult to start with. He has proved he is not, so forget him, leave him alone.

[Homegirl 50]

You are not really in a relationship and he does not sound as if he is emotionally healthy enough for one, or he's just lying to you.
Leave him alone. There should not be that much drama in an Online or any relationship.

[Mpho13]

After reading your answers I am glad to say you all make sense. I was in an idea of been in a relationship with him when we really are not. Plus why would I put myself in a situation that's so emotionally draining and he doesn't seem to care what his actions are doing to me. This Morning I called it off. I told him we should just stay ''cyber buddies''. It was hard as he tried to tell me I should give him more time to clear his mind, I refused. I'm not going to put myself through this emotional roller coaster and I am young and in time I will find that one man who will treat me like gold.
Thank you. I needed to hear this. Truth hurts but then again it has set me free.
Thank you!

[Mpho13]

Break ups can be very hard. You sit and dwell over the lost love. I'm going through that now, its easy to say forget about him. Easier said than done. What's the easiest way to get over someone quickly so that life can go on?

[JoeCanada76]

Focus on school. Interested in spare time activities. Get involved in different programs. Keep yourself busy.

[talaniman]

Build a life that you enjoy without him. No there is no quick easy fix, but with a little work and reading these stickies here, eventually it gets better.