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    moviekris0426's Avatar
    moviekris0426 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 21, 2011, 07:06 PM
    Dating (Online) for Beginners
    Well, I'm new to dating, especially online dating. I've had boyfriends before, don't get me wrong, but they've never really been the type where we would go out on real dates. I recently joined a site where I've met a couple of guys who seem cute or sweet. I feel weird talking to multiple guys, but I also am not going to stop that because I consider myself single. I have been on a date with one of the guys recently and he seems nice (I gave him a small peck at the end), but I'm not sure if there is any spark. With another guy I've met, he seems really cute and charming, we've texted, but not actually met and he keeps dropping the word "girlfriend". In both situations, I just don't know what to do or say. I want to keep myself out there, but I don't want to commit myself to a relationship until I am completely sure... And I'm not.

    Funniest part about this whole thing? The more I try to find "the one" myself, the more I keep thinking he would find me without all this stuff...
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Sep 21, 2011, 07:34 PM
    The issue with online, and even real life, is that of course you can, and I believe should be dating two or three people, finding one you want to narrow in on. Unless there is any commitment and there should not be until much further into a relationship, not just date the one person.

    And are you willing to stop a stranger in the store and say hey I am interested in talking to you ? Most likely not, but you will click on a button on a dating site.

    We never know how and well we can meet someone new. Online is just one way.

    But remember ** in general, about 1/2 of the men you talk to will not be who they say. Many will be married, many others just want a one night stand. So always meet first time in a public place
    mashu's Avatar
    mashu Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 4, 2011, 03:41 AM
    Hey,
    I'm myself in this situation nowadays... the problem is that you like these guys but not like 'like'.. and firstly you're scared of getting into a relationship why?
    Because you want a serious one.. and if he keeps dropping the word girlfriend its no big deal.. dont think about it too much... self thinking will hurt you.. I myself have never been in a relationship and I'm still not.. because whenever I want I want a serious relationship... b/c I'm not the kind of girl who can afford a break up... so what I suggest, advise is more like it that wait and give this situation some time... you'll see how things workout...
    I hope my answer was helpful...
    best O' luck =D
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Oct 4, 2011, 08:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by mashu View Post
    Hey,
    im myself in this situation nowadays...the problem is that you like these guys but not like 'like'..and firstly you're scared of getting into a relationship why?
    Because you want a serious one..and if he keeps dropping the word girlfriend its no big deal..dont think about it too much...self thinking will hurt you..i myself have never been in a relationship and im still not..because whenever i want i want a serious relationship...b/c im not the kinda girl who can afford a break up...so what i suggest, advise is more like it that wait and give this situation some time...you'll see how things workout...
    i hope my answer was helpful...
    best O' luck =D
    I don't see a fear of a relationship. I see a fear of people not being who they say they are. I agree with FrChuck - I see no problem in dating several people at the same time (and keep in mind I said "dating") while determining which person is the best match for you. I do, however, believe in being honest - if someone thinks you are exclusive and you are not you owe it to them to tell them.

    I also think having someone you barely know use the word "girlfriend" when describing you is, at best, a concern.

    I think never being in a relationship for fear of a break up is not emotionally healthy. What do you mean by not being able to "afford" a break up?

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