[Anthony_]

Recently (early July) I was contacted by an old friend from high school, via Facebook. Always had a crush on this girl, but I was involved in a long term relationship so that's all it was, a crush. Now I've been single for about a year and a half, and out of the blue, she emails me. Super excited, I email back. We talk for a while and meet that night. Had a great time, talked for hours, and couldn't get enough of each other for about a month.

We both just got out of a long relationship. Her more recently. I knew she might need a little more time before she might be ready to get serious. So I was patient. But she would drop hints all the time about really wanting to be together, and how she was really into me. She wanted me to change my Facebook status to "in a relationship", because I'd been single for a little while, and a few girls were showing interest and flirting on my page blah blah blah. I didn't mind at all changing my status. But she never changed hers? I thought it was strange, but wasn't going to make a big deal about it. I was really into her. I went through my phone and deleted anyone and everyone who I might have had "something" with in the past. I was really feeling that she was serious and I didn't want to mess it up.

Well her work schedule kind of changed, from what she told me. She never had a "9-5". And I kind of understood because she's an EMT, and worked kind of crazy hours driving an ambulance. Also volunteered at a fire station on a rescue squad. She was working like 90-100 hours a week! At least that's what she was telling me. Long story short.. We rarely saw each other anymore. Maybe once a week to spend the night, 5-6 hours tops. I did my best to try and understand all that, and that she would need to rest/sleep sometimes during the day. But man was it stressful! I mean she was not showing signs at all of not wanting to hang out anymore. One time I asked her straight up, if it was going to work out and if she really wanted to be with me. Or if she was just trying to let me go. She broke down, crying, really upset! I felt horrible, but really confused.

So I went with it a few more weeks. And we saw each other less and less. I would text her just about everyday, to say hey, have a good day, what are your plans for tonight, etc... Sometimes I would get a reply, most of the time she was sleeping or working. So I kind of eased off a little. Maybe she needed a break. Then I asked her again, is this going to work, really? Are you being totally honest with me? I mean please just tell me if you're not that into me, and I will totally leave you alone. She breaks down again! Now I feel like the bad guy not trusting her when she says she really wants to be with me. But can I at least get a text message? I bought her flowers twice. Once I set a single rose on my front porch when she used to come over every night. She left it to die in my living room, never took it home with her. Second time was her birthday, Sep 6, I left about 3 dozen roses on her doorstep. She texted me 6 hours later, "thanks". Then nothing for about 2 days.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not the type that gets super obsessed with someone that's not into me. No stalker status here. I will delete her number in a heartbeat if she told me I'm not what she wanted. But that's not what she tells me. So I think I should give it a chance.

But patience is wearing thin!

So a couple more weeks go by. Still hadn't seen each other since mid August sometime. Now her grandmother is doing bad :( Any extra time she has, she spends with her. Totally understand. But she went on for a couple weeks of not making any attempt or answering texts before she told me that! So now it seems like we're fighting every time we text/talk to each other, and I had no idea she had stuff going on with her grandma. It's like she used it as an excuse late in the game. I hate to think she would do that, so I'm not going to believe it.

So finally, I know couldn't have picked a worse time, I told her I don't think it's going to work out. Maybe we need some time. I thought she certainly needed time, and that I was just bothering her. So she took it as me breaking up with her. Then I really didn't hear from her. I would text and ask if her grandma is OK, if she was OK, if there was anything I could do to help. Crickets.

Did I mess up? Was I asking too much? She tried to contact me again yesterday, but I kept it short and sweet. Should I call her? I really want to see this happen, if she is for real. But I really don't want to be led on, and that's kind of what I feel is happening.

ANY advice is super appreciated. I really don't want to mess it up if it's possible. But I def don't want to be played, yeah know?

Thanks!

[Riot]

If she's finally making a go to talk back to you then maybe she realised your there for her?

Its not nice being put out in the dark like that but as I said, if she made an attempt she either wants to start building the friendship... or maybe she just feels guilty not talking to you as much.

You did say she recently got out of a relationship, so.. maybe her talking to you heaps to start with was the reminents of a rebound.

Though its kind of hard to tell.

If your trying to get through with little response and feel your losing too much ground, call it quits.

If she's trying to talk again, see how that goes. She seems very busy as it is anyway

[talaniman]

Hard to build anything when she is to busy to help with the building. I would sure back up to a safe distance and make it understood that right now seems to be a bad time, and you both need time and space. Yes this would be a break up, but for the best, to end your torture, and false hope, and give you a chance to enjoy your own life.

That's what I thought when you changed your status, and she did not. She wanted an option, for when she wasn't busy, you wanted to be a priority.

See the difference? You tried, and it ain't working.