[LittleBlackKat]

Hello there, I am a 21 year old University student (female). I just have a quesiton about an issue that happened in 2 of my classes, and it is a bit of a long story, so I will do my best to keep it short.
:
In my Stats class, there was a guy, sitting towards my left, but he was about 3 seats away, sitting close to my friend Tina. And Tina and I both noticed that he was looking towards the right side of the room, where I was sitting.He did it for almost the entire class period, but either way I thought not much of it.

But today, when I had stats again, he sat right beside me today on my left. But I thought it was just by accident because he came in rather late, and I thought to myself: Oh he's grabbing the nearest seat he can find, which is beside me. And he was chatting it up with the guy on his left a lot, because they were friends and knew each other. So I just paid attention to the lecture. But halfway in, I noticed he was tapping his leg and foot against mine, and I at first thought: Oh shoot he probably wants me to get out of his way and move my foot.
And so I did, but when I did, he moved it closer and resumed the tapping and rubbing. So I moved yet again, and he still kept following me
But he stopped when I went on MSN and told my friend Tina (who was sitting beside me) I typed to her: Tina, the guy on my left keeps tapping my leg with his DX
And as soon as I wrote that, he stopped. So I think he DID see the conversation DX And after a few minutes, I went on FB to change my profile pic and just browse through the rest seeing as I was bored, and that's when Tina Messaged me and said: He's looking at your photos and he is constantly shifting in his chair, he really likes looking at your laptop screen

He was next in Bio Psych again with me.I was looking for Tina, in my seat at the back, when he popped in with a friend. And he walked right up, and sat to my right this time, right beside me. And he said happily: I'm sitting beside you again! And he smiled sweetly
And I said: It's fine, don't worry
But to make a long story short, we were chatting it up well, until my friend showed up, then he got a bit more quiet.

Now HERE is the real question/issue:
Halfway through class, tina messaged me again and said: Your boyfriend wants you online.
|And so I went online to chat with him, and I peeked out the corner of my eyes to see if he was reading my messages and I don't think he was, I didn't see anything, but he could have been sneaky

Now, the problem is, after class ended,I was still typing up some last second notes quickly, and he got up his friend, and they were chatting for a bit, standing there, and I was packing my stuff away slowly, and then they both just walked out and didn't even say "goodbye or cya"
And I got a bit worried if I had offended them or said something wrong, because I mean, MAYBE he was being nice and maybe he didn't want to interrupt me because he saw me typing like mad
But Tina thinks it was because he's either shy, which I rule out because HE started talking to ME first, so why be shy now? Or she said it was because he probably read the messages my boyfriend (EX now) was sending and got jealous or hurt
And we gave no indication we were dating, we didn't get mushy and I love you stuff ,So I don't understand why he'd be offended by that

What do you think is going on?

[I wish]

Before we worry about what's going on in his mind, let's sort out what's going on in your mind. It sounds like you're very concerned about what he's thinking. Questions for you, are you interested in him romantically? As a friend? Or is he creeping you out? Why are you giving him so much thought?

[TurningPages]

I'm guessing that since you're worrying so much about hurting his feelings and wondering if he is interested in you, you are interested in him as well and want to get to know him better.

Well, according to what you're saying, he obviously expressed some interest there. I mean, you don't rub your leg on anyone, at least that's what common sense says. He was possibly making the first move and waited for you to show some interest back.

I'm not able to know why he didn't say goodbye to you. Maybe he did saw the messages your boyfriend sent you but I don't find a reason for him to get jealous or hurt, since he's not involved with you. I'm guessing he was simply discouraged by the fact that you have a boyfriend and he realised that there's no reason to pursue you anymore since you're not single. If you're interested in this guy, maybe you need to find a way to let him know that you broke up with your boyfriend and you're now available and see how he'll react and how things will go from there.

[LittleBlackKat]

I Wish, I think I WANT to get to know him better, as TurningPages said. I just broke up with my boyfriend, so I am not going to run head first into another relationship so soon. I personally want to get to know him better seeing as he expressed interest and started speaking to me first.
But I personally wonder how I can tell him I am single without making it seem dramatic and obvious. I also don't want to seem desperate JUST in case he really has lost interest or wasn't even interested in the first place (although I doubt it) I only posted the question because I have somewhat poor social skills, and I have been in a number of short relationships that went nowhere. So I am just interested in getting to know him first.
I just don't want to approach him if he sits elsewhere next time. Because I don't want to send off a needy impression. And my mother and aunt told me to act like a "respectable lady" and they said if he is really interested, he will sit next to me and talk again on his own. Which I think is fair, but again, what if he DOESN'T? I just feel like I ruined an opportunity to make a new friend.
But as TurningPages said, MAYBE he did in fact see the messages, I don't know, I hope not, because my boyfriend and I weren't even saying anything romantic to one another. We were only talking about school and work, tied with money issues. So I don't know why he'd be discouraged in that sense.

[TurningPages]

I know what you're saying. My mom raised me with the same principles too.
I agree with you. You don't want to look needy.
Maybe you could change your status in Facebook to single. If he's checking out your profile, he will see it. Or maybe you could have a random conversation with your friends when he's around (or on facebook), mentioning in a discrete way that you are single now.
The thing is that if he makes a move again, you should show that you are interested in getting to know him too and not block him out.

[LittleBlackKat]

I totally agree, TurningPages. If he DOES sit next to me, I will open up FB and hope he looks this time. Because it is now changed to "Single". But I'm just scared he won't ever sit near me again. It'd be OK if he was even 2-3 seats away, the seats are close together, so I could talk a little louder with my friend in terms of me being single, and hope he hears it and gains his courage back.
But it could work either way, he could never sit near me again. But my mom said if he really is interested, he won't get discouraged so easily.

[TurningPages]

I agree with your mom. If he gives up so easily maybe he won't worth it after all.
But don't expect everything from fate. God helps them that help themselves. So, even if he doesn't sit next to you or close to you, you could show him that you like him, you know, send him a "signal" that you are interested when you get the chance. For example if he's looking at you and you know it, look at him back, so your eyes can meet. Or smile at him if you're not too shy. He'll get it and if he's interested he'll make the next move.

[LittleBlackKat]

I really like your answers, TurningPages. You're very wise. Thanks so much! And I'm not shy at all, I too tend to look around the room sometimes in class. And I have no problem meeting eye contact. My only hope and prayer is that he doesn't treat and shun me like I am the plague :P
But you're ABSOLUTELY correct. God DOES help those who help themselves. I am not going to sit and wait for him to come to me without at least SHOWING some reaction. I will try what you wisely suggested, and then I will see how it goes from there.
Because my mom is right. If he honestly chooses to avoid me after only speaking to me in ONE class, then it must mean he's shallow or had bad intentions. If I personally liked someone that much, I would stand by and check if they even WERE in a relationship, because as far as I know he might not even be 100% sure I'm in a relationship. And he could have at least tried being friends, even if I were in a relationship, it'd be really nice and not so shallow.

[TurningPages]

Awwww thank you so much! You're really kind. :-)
I'm glad I could help even a little.
Good luck!!

[talaniman]

Forget presuming and assuming, introduce yourself, and find out who he is. As a person of interest, and don't trip, and wonder if he is shy, or evil, just find out and deal with whatever he is accordingly. If HE assumes too much, or wants to move to fast, slow him down, but don't kill him.

Just be friendly until you are comfortable. I have no doubt from what you wrote, you won't get carried away.

[LittleBlackKat]

Thanks so much TurningPages and talaniman. I am going to try to find a GOOD way to approach him WITHOUT bringing my level down and degrading myself. Like I said, I'd hate to seem too overwhelming and desperate. First impressions are last impressions.
But you're right, I should at least try in a way to find out who he is and show more interest since he has shown it himself.
I promise I won't get carried away. I always try to rationalize, which is why I thought I'd share this with someone outside the class. Because my friends aren't giving me good advice, they're turning this into an experiment for the most part, and they're pretty much playing betting games to see if he will ever sit near me again or show more interest. That's not the point. Yes I hope he sits near me again, but I won't force him if he really lost interest.