[Scotgirl1]

I have been dating a guy for nearly 4 months now. He's very affectionate,hugs, kisses, holds hands etc. Likes to cuddle but he won't make any moves on me at all other than that. Have spent a few nights away with him in a hotel even, and still no sex. I've asked him a couple of times if its me, and he says no. But he refuses to talk about it, and avoids the subject. The only thing he's told me is he found his last girlfriend in bed with another guy once, so not sure if that has something to do with it. He's 46, I'm 44. So not like teenagers... other than the lack of sex, the relationship is amazing, and really falling in love with him. Perfect for me in every other way, but the no sex thing is starting to get to me. Help?

[Synnen]

I'd be WAY more concerned about the refusing to talk about it than about the lack of sex itself.

You need to find a time when you are NOT being intimitate and let him know that you are trying to understand where he is coming from, but in order for you to be comfortable with the state of your sex life, you NEED him to be willing to talk to you about his thoughts on your sex life as well.

This should not be to pressure him into sex in any way, but should be about being able to discuss sex in general.

And let's face it--if a couple cannot TALK about sex, then they shouldn't be HAVING sex anyway