[Jwr5885]

Ok so I just got out of a serious relationship about 4 months ago and I work a lot so I tried this online dating thing. Seemed cool talk to a couple girls and I finally find one I like. So as I'm talking to her come to find out she's on a break with her boyfriend and all of us familiar with this site knows what that means. So we made plans to hang out on a Saturday and it just so happens that something happened on Friday so she comes over Friday night to spend the night with me so I'm not alone. Saturday comes around and she spends the night again and we have sex so I'm thinking everything is going well. We make plans to go to Atlantic city and we go and it's awesome have a great time. Then we make plans to go to DC and again it was a good time but I could tell something was wrong the ride home from DC.
So the next day after our weekend trip I get a text saying that she doesn't want to do this an it's not working because she noticed some things about me she didn't like. So I'm very respectful like OK well there was things about you that I didn't like but that's getting to know someone you have to kind of except there flaws so to speak.

Anyway I'm done with the whole thing and already start talking to this other girl who I honestly don't really care about. And then I get a text from the old girl saying she wants to start things over but she wants to date other people as well nothing serious just go on dates and meet new guys online because she said she never really got the chance to before. So of course I like her and I'm dating other people too so I'm like that's fine but I do like her the best and I've asked if she see this going anywhere with us and she just says she doesn't want to rush. And she doesn't want to tell me she does eventually want to be with me because she doesn't want to make a promise that she might have to break. But she does say she sees this advancing into something more so I'm just mind boggled because when she's with me she's happy and she tells me that I'm on the top of the list of guys she's talking to but I just don't know if she wants me to be patient and wait for her to have her fun.

Or if she is telling me the truth and wants to make sure that she's happy with me before she commits or I'm just the fall guy. I know she's interested in me so my real question aside from some much needed advice as well is how do I get her to want to be with me maybe make her a little jealous too and tell her I'm seeing someone else or what because I would like to try things out with her in a relationship because I do like her. And this month will be 2 months that we've been talking.

Thanks for any advice and answers sorry so long. I posted this in dating for 2 days and no answer so thought I'd try something different.

[talaniman]

Sorry about your other post, sometimes it takes a while.

They way I see your dating situation now though, is you may like this girl a lot, but you are ignoring a very real red flag and a big one. She just broke up from her one failed relationship, much like you did 4 months ago. A case like this requires you to back up and think that she may not be ready, to jump so fast into an exclusive committed relationship so soon, and needs to just have fun and heal from what she has been through.

She seems to be honest about that, and you still ignore that and are eager for her to feel as you do. That's not going to happen, and you still should back up to a safer emotional distance, and have fun, and expect no more than that. That's what I would do at least.

You both are dating others but you are much to focused on her is my opinion, and as all wounded people whom we fall for, you may be disappointed when she does heal, and really can enjoy being single.

Now I don't think she is trying to deceive you as much as she is trying to just keep dating you as she heals, and has fun, as you are one of maybe a few, and she wants her options open for now, which is understandable, so you really have to be less available and not chase her expecting her to give you what you want eventually. You are a bit carried away by your feelings, and are allowing yourself to be sucked into a situation that may not turn out the way you want.

You want more than she is willing to give, so slowdown, back up, and date for fun, and friends, not romance. You can't make someone like you as much as you do them, nor should you try. Don't play games either, stay honest and do your own thing while she gets hers together. She needs time to do that, as she heals.

In today's on line dating world, where there are many options and opportunities for fun, love, romance, and sex, don't get stuck so fast after some good times, and good sex, and start planning a relationship. Especially when they are NOT willing to commit to one.

Don't make her a priority, while you are just an option.