[imhere1989]

So I am a typical female, I look into things way too much!

But my boyfriend of 3 years and I have just moved in together!
Don't get me wrong we have a pretty awesome relationship but I have been feeling pretty I guess left out lately.

I have been trying to get out of the house with him lately, like I mentioned we could go to the zoo.. Be he thinks going to the zoo is "gay"

I ask him if he wants to go for dinner with some friends NOPE the footballs on, the movies "no good movies out"

Our families houses for a visit nope too far away mind you its only 10 minutes away...

I'm just getting really sick to death of staying at home watching TV...

But he will always go for a kick, the gym, lunch, beers with his friends?

He just went for lunch with his mates... no females mind you.. And if I did he would walk 10 meters in front of me while his step brother sticks with me... kind of like I'm not there?

I don't want this to sound like he doesn't "love me" because I know he does but I just want to know how to approach this issue without seeming like an emotional girl ha. HELP!

[Wondergirl]

I'm sorry to hear about how he's behaving.

Is this a (drastic?) change from how he acted before the two of you moved in together?

Do you feel taken for granted?

[imhere1989]

Yeah I suppose that is how I feel.. I think I have noticed it more since we have moved in together because I'm with him a lot more? I suppose..

But it only if his friends or even family for that matter are around he ignores me... I've already approached him about his family and his reason for that is he just feels comfortable with me around them and I do have a great relationship with his family..

I guess I feel like I'm an embarrassment to be seen with in public? Or he is just lazy now he knows/thinks he has me hook line and sinker..

[Wondergirl]

Well, I do believe he's got you where he wants you -- at home and doing his bidding or living the life he wants you to live, doing things his way.

Had you talked before moving in together that a partnership is give and take, sometimes 60-40 and sometimes 20-80, but averaging out to 50-50? Like you get at least 50 as an average? It sounds like it's 10-90.

[talaniman]

He has a life without you, and you should have one without him. Then he may miss you as you miss him when he goes out. Hey living together has to be a mutual thing, and to be honest, sounds like you depend on him to have a social life. Do things on your own, and enjoy the freedom. Then you won't feel left out, and you both may appreciate each other.

[imhere1989]

Wow I never thought of it like that... we did agree that nothing could change when we moved in as in always making time with our friends etc but I never thought of anything being fare... I have started stepping up my game a little for instance this weekend we are meant to be going for dinner with my sister and her boyfriend and some friends but he wanted to change it to Friday night... but I refused and am going anyway... without him.. when normally we would just say another time... maybe I do need to start taking me fair share?

[talaniman]

What you thought living together would be holding hands and doing everything together?

That's boring! You better do your own thing, he is.

[vanheart]

Afters 3 years of this, you probably know the deal.

My guess he was like this before. Now that he has you, nothings changed.

He can do whatever he wants. Can you?

"we did agree that nothing could change"
That's not a good agreement. That's his agreement. Lazy one.

You got with him, remember.
What is it about him that you like, anyway? Why him?

He doesn't sound like he is giving you the respect you deserve.
Part of that is self-respect. Having to be with someone as opposed to not.

"he ignores me"
"i feel like im an embarrassment to be seen with in public"

Well, that sucks & needs immediate attention.

If you feel disrespected, then he isn't looking out for you. Find out why.

I would talk to him about all of this. If he can't talk, get in the game & be a BF, then, leave.

There's no sense in being miserable. Or wasting time on someone that doesn't treat you like #1

Part of it may be that you got with the wrong guy.

[imhere1989]

I never thought living with someone would be holding hands and spending 24/7 with one and other... (personally that would drive me insane) but to clear things up, we had a chat this evening and I told him how I felt... we totally cleared things up. Not to say I've totally forgiven him or will forget about it... like my mum says a woman doesn't forget anything!

And when you ask me what I love/like about him? Without sounding silly everything. I do forget how easy he is to talk to well easy for a man.

I think reaching out to the unknown for advice has helped it is the first time I have done it and I tihnk I might do it a lot more often.

I think people in general imagine there relationship to be like ones in the films... what I tend to forget is there are always mountains and valley's... without them what is a relationship.

Its going to start being 50/50 he doesn't know it yet but he sure as hell will after tonight lol.

Thank you all so much for your help and advice :)

[Wondergirl]

We're here if you need us again! :)

And please feel free to offer your own level-headed advice to questioners.