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Namhila · Sep 11, 2011, 08:09 PM

I love this girl who turns out to be my best friend. I love her so much that when I see her something inside me jumps up. I don't feel good whenever don't see her and my life is incomplete without her. I don't want to lose her should I get rejected by her. I really don't know what to do.

I wish · Sep 12, 2011, 12:13 PM

How long have you known her for? How old are you guys?

bonbons · Sep 17, 2011, 05:51 PM

Go for it or you will be miserable

JoeCanada76 · Sep 17, 2011, 06:10 PM

I married my best friend. Some people are afraid of that next step. What if they say no, what if you get hurt. What if the person does not feel the same way. Or what if they do not want to have any friendship at all afterwards. There is always that risk. At the same time The risk is worth it. In my own experience in life.

I think that many people in today's world marry for a lot of other reasons, and do not take the time to become friends first.

Not saying your going to get married just saying that even though she is your best friend. If it goes any further then that I think that is the best way to start a relationship. Some do work, some do not but you will never know until you take that leap of faith.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 17, 2011, 06:13 PM

Life is choices, and things go well, or sometimes don't.

If you don't tell her, and she finds and gets someone else as a boyfriend, how will you feel.

But you could tell her and she does not feel that way, and it ruins your friendship

But you could tell her and start dating and break up.

There is no future for sure, you can only follow your heart.

talaniman · Sep 17, 2011, 06:32 PM

How old are you? I would enjoy being friends, and see if she is up to going places, as a friend.

ITstudent2006 · Sep 17, 2011, 06:38 PM

This is all too common scenario as we tend to share our darkest secrets, fantasies, and interests with our best friends. Creating a bond far beyond that of a regular friend. When the friends are of opposite sex (or same sex whichever) it often leads to feelings by one, possibly both parties.

It all comes down to risk vs outcome.

Risk: What you could lose (if anything)
Outcome: What you could gain (if anything)

I am going to explain my reasoning in a somewhat peculiar way but it's only because I really want to explain your options so you understand.

Using risk management in a relationship environment tends to never work out because of the variables involved, both seen and unseen. But to explain your options, I think it would work.

The strategies to managing risk include:
1. Transferring the risk to another party. (asking her if she has ever though about dating you throws the pressure on her)
2. Avoiding the risk. (staying friends)
3. Reducing the negative effect or probability of the risk. (Slowly hintong toward taking it to another level just so you can get a feel for how she feels. This will let you know before you straight up ask, thus minimizing some (if any) negative effects.
4. Accepting some or all of the consequences of a particular risk. (Realizing the risk is worth it and you ask her. But be ready to accept whatever happens.)

We cannot tell you which path to take as we do not feel for this girl like you do. We cannot judge the risk ourselves but can only tell you your options, our experiences and our advice. I wish you luck and let us know!

Rick