[IBAconcernedmom]

Last March I was invited to attend a birthday party of my nephew (my brother's child and his ex-wife) I had never been allowed to spend time with them because the mother moved all the time and kept the boys secluded from my brother and the family. We never knew the boys or anything of their life. We went to the birthday party for the older child, who by the way was already in the care of a family friend. When the 8 year old approached me and said you look like me! He was sweet and cute, he looked just like my four children. We asked if the child could go camping with us to get to know him. We were to go camping April 30th by May 14th the boy had been taken from the home and placed in a behavioural hospital which we didn't know anything about until we kept calling to get him ready for the camping trip. When I took his mother to the rehab for visitations with the child all the doctors and nurses believed the child be mine because he looks nothing like this mother and look exactly like me. When the doctor spoke to me as if I were the mother, the real mother corrected him and he was amazed and the resemblance the boy shared with me. To make a long story short the doctor filed for a protection order against the mother and the step father and immediately began proceedings to place the boy in my care. I didn't know the boys history and was not made aware of the history or his mental condition. He has been sexually abused, he has ODD and does nothing when ask. He has been destructive and damages everything he doesn't respect any boundaries no matter how personal. I don't believe that I am equipped to give him the care and counselling he needs. I was nigh-eve to believe that love and a better environment was all the boy needed. He needs a much deeper therapy than what I can give. I am afraid for the child because in the wrong hands he will be worsened by someone untrained to handle children with his particular disorder. Now when we went to court on November of this past year I was given full custody with out a petition before the court, I have been court ordered to home school the child because I home school my own children. I do not feel that the child will benefit with out continued therapy to address his issues. What should I do for this child? I don't want custody of him any longer I want him to receive the care that will be most beneficial for his particular needs, He is always in trouble always doing unacceptable behaviours I have a 3 year old that I must consider and the child has already displayed sexual behaviours towards my son. I feel he is a danger to my child and himself. The child burned his parents house down and tried to kill his mom. I don't know what he may be capable of. He has been with us for over a year and some things have not changed at all. While others have subsided? What can I do to legally have this child that I didn't petition the court for taken out of my custody?

[IBAconcernedmom]

I received custody of a nephew I never knew until last march. He is 9 now and has ODD he is a terror! Love and affection are not enough to help this child, he needs therapeutic foster care and counselling that I can not give. What options are available to me?

[Fr_Chuck]

What type of level of custody do you have, did you adopt, or did you just get guardianship

[cdad]

Is the child in therapy at this time? Is the state still checking on you and the situation your going through? They should have told you. Since they neglected to tell you and your expectations were different they have allowed your children to be at risk. If the threat this boy has over your family then the state needs to be aware of it. You may have to have the boy committed inorder for you to be released from custody. Also it may be possible that with the states help you can turn this whole thing around. Help the boy break the cycle. You really need to check into what resources you can be granted to deal with the situation before you know how to proceed.

[Fr_Chuck]

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