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Badgerock · Feb 2, 2007, 08:28 AM

I have a 19 year old step son that I been married to his mother sense he was 14 and now he's way overweight like around 260 pounds + he only comes out of his beroom 3 to 4 times a day and stays on the internet 90% of the day and most of it is on Myspace and watches Soaps and Charms all the time, plus cartoons and I only seen him eat Pizza and chili and peanutbutter sandwiches all the time I have a 5 year old daughter that eats great and I can't get my step son to even eat any greens.
His bedroom smells so bad that I have to put a towle on the floor to his bedroom door, My wife said that's because he has ADD I tried to talk to my wife about it but I'm not making any head way me and my wife work and my step sone only worked 2 days at Target last year and that's it.
I lost intress in trying to help him out now which is not good on my side I want to help him so bad to get out and do something or at least get a hobbie.

Can anyone help just a little..

Jim:

Fr_Chuck · Feb 2, 2007, 08:56 AM

Well first this is a major life issue that you and your wife needed to clear up BEFORE you got married on how to handle this.

He will be 400 lbs and 30 and still living at home if you let him,

He needs to be given a time table to MOVE OUT unless he goes to work and pays rent.

As long as your wife lets him, he will never be anyting and it will just get worst.

If he has ADD ( and I doubt it) is he going to the doctor, he is on medication, if not, take him at once, and see where that goes.

In the end, you can either accept it, or tell you wife you or the son and see what happens,

Bluerose · Feb 2, 2007, 09:13 AM

I so agree with Fr_Chuck. Ignore this situation and you are doing this young man no favours. There should be house rules, meal times etc. Set boundaries, expect chores to be done, room cleaned ASAP before someone gets ill.

As a mum I can understand what his mother has done... She blames herself for anything that went wrong in their lives, divorce etc. And she has been trying to make it up to him by over indulging him. It has now become a habit. A habit that has to change ASAP for the boys sake.

Have a serious chat with your wife and start making some rules.

Let us know how it goes.

Badgerock · Feb 3, 2007, 01:41 AM

Tell you what Fr_Chuck is correct about this and bluerose your such a sweetheart Im going to have a talk to my wife about this problem and see what (I) can do about it if she can't just because I do really care.
I want to think you both for helping out ande I will let you know how it turns out.
Thank you so much with my deepest heart.
Jim:

Bluerose · Feb 3, 2007, 06:42 AM

".. becasue I do really care."

Remember to tell him that won't you?

Be subtle rather than 'bark orders', get to know him all over again, invent things for him to help you with, places to go. Be firm but patient. Unless you want him to leave, getting him interested in family stuff is going to be quite hard work. But if you love him and show it, it will be worth it.

Don't expect too much all at once. Bring him back into the fold and then suggest getting a job, even a part time one would be a positive start.

Good luck.

Badgerock · Feb 11, 2007, 12:27 AM

Originally Posted by bluerose

".. becasue I do really care."

Remember to tell him that won't you?

Be subtle rather than ‘bark orders’, get to know him all over again, invent things for him to help you with, places to go. Be firm but patient. Unless you want him to leave, getting him interested in family stuff is going to be quite hard work. But if you love him and show it, it will be worth it.

Don’t expect too much all at once. Bring him back into the fold and then suggest getting a job, even a part time one would be a positive start.

Good luck.

Thank's for the information I will give it my up most try on what you gave me for GREAT information.
I will let you know how its going down the road and once again thank's so much for the help.
Yours truly
Jim: