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    janzen7's Avatar
    janzen7 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 27, 2011, 06:19 PM
    Forgiving and forgetting the past mistakes of your boyfriend.
    SO my boyfriend and I were on a break but still practically together and he promised he would never cheat on my or be with another girl no matter what! Well I caught him with a huge *** hicky on his neck and was so pissed. He tried to use the excuse that he was drunk and I told him that's no excuse. Then he told me he thought it was from a towel whip, as if I was that dumb to believe it... Well I later on found out he had been having sex with a girl that he called his "best friend". He had also told me he would never touch or even think about touching the girls that are his close friends. Which he lied about. He killed me and after that he started acting very weird and said that me freaking out about it pushed him away and he had lost feelings for me. Now him and I are happily together because I love him to death and want so bad to forgive him. But it seems impossible. How to I forgive and forget something like that?
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #2

    Aug 27, 2011, 07:16 PM
    Sounds like everything he is telling you is a lie.

    Did you get it? Yet?

    If I were you I wouldn't worry about the forgive & forget.

    You're young. There's more towel whips ahead.

    Look out for the next one. Cause that stings.

    Hes a cheater, & liar. Not your kind of guy.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Aug 27, 2011, 07:31 PM
    Maybe you can never forget, but in time you will deal with it better if he works hard to be a good boy, but if you cannot forgive, then why did you take him back? Even with forgiving, its still a long way off from regaining trust. All of this takes time, and much working together to repair what was damaged.

    That means you have to always be in enough control not to throw this back in his face, and he must understand those feelings, and never cross lines of selfish, thoughtless, careless behavior.

    Unless you work together through honest communications, then you won't get very far. It's a difficult task but many do it and rebuild over years. It's a long process in most cases, so patience, is what's really needed.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #4

    Aug 27, 2011, 07:39 PM
    Agreed.

    Patience on your part.
    If you are going to get back & forgive. Only if.

    Then do that. Don't look for every little reason to bust his...
    Let him reconcile. But he's got to do that quick & stick w/it.

    If he doesn't then, you can decide if you want to give him a third chance.

    Or 4th, 5th, 6th...

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