[Newgirlinnyc]

Hi. I'm engaged with this man who works in an alcohol industry and they have sometimes events where important people assist. Since I don't know the business very well, I ask questions about it and he seems like he doesn't want to tell me what I want to know, for example they had an event party in a very nice place where he invited me but the last minute he said he couldn't take me because it was only people from work and important guests and that I found it weird but I didn't say anything until next day I asked how the event was and he got mad at me because he said he is tired of me asking questions about his job and it wasn't even a bad question and I found it suspicious. I didn't want to go further but my gut was killing me saying to check at his phone. I did and found a text from him saying nice seeing you last night, meaning the event to some girl. I know it sounds like nothing is wrong there but why getting upset with me when I want to know about his job, I don't get it. And there are times when I ask who are you texting or emailing at this time, when is after 10pm only and he just gets mad without answering just saying "it's people from work" but for his reaction I think is not true and I don't want to check his cell every time he gets mad at me so how to find out if he is into something?
We have been engaged for 1 year and getting married in the next 8 months and I have been very good with him but he gets mad easily specially when I ask questions either about another women or work, he just explodes and don't know why because for me those are normal questions but for him are annoying :(
Thank you for your time to read this and thanks for your help!

[joypulv]

We aren't there to know if you are the suspicious and meddlesome one, or if he is being devious and overly secretive, or some of both. You shouldn't marry someone you don't trust. I would call off the engagement.

[talaniman]

I don't think I would even be with someone who was annoyed by questions about their job, and was a bit to secretive for your taste.

[dontknownuthin]

I would call off the engagement because whether there's reason to be suspicious or not, he's being weirdly secretive about aspects of his life any significant woman in his life would likely ask. If he can't talk to you about how his day was with work events, how is he going to talk to you about a serious health issue, money concerns, worries about children or a problem in your marriage?

If you want to give him another chance tell him flat out, "your reaction to my asking simple questions to tune in about your work and how you spend your time are oddly suspicious - it's nothing to be angry about. If you can't have enough respect for my feelings to simply answer my questions in a kind and respectful manner, there's no chance for trust in the relationship. I'm not accusing you of anything but your reaction to my questions is shady so I need to call off the engagement. You can decide if you want to start reacting differently or not, but as long as it remains the same, I can't consider marrying you". See if he changes.

My feeling is that you are suspicious because you're picking up on something, and you should trust your gut. He is in an industry with plenty of opportunities for cheating and unless he's very transparent about his activities, very open about who he's socializing with (business or not) and who's calling after hours, and unless he includes you as much as possible, you have every reason to not trust him. A mature man would recognize that worry in such situations is normal, and that he owes it to you to go the extra mile to establish that he's worthy of your trust. Acting like a child when you ask "how was your evening?" or "who's calling?" would be a huge, huge red flag to me. In fact, any kind of secretiveness would be reason for me to end an engagement.