[britta86]

I'll try to make this as brief as possible.

There's this guy that been a friend or more of an acquaintance of mine for about 3 years. Anyway I've always kind had a crush on him and one night he was drunk and told me he has always had a thing for me since we first met. After he told me we dated for about a month and then he freaked out one night and said that he had stuff going on in his life at the moment that he didn't want to burden me with and that he couldn't deal with being with someone at the moment... said he still really likes me and has always wanted us to have a relationship but that it just didn't feel right, right now... it hadn't happened how he had hoped it would and he didn't want to spoil what could be great. So we went back to being friends.

I know that people say when a guy likes you he'll make more of an effort with you and try to be near you as much as possible and that but I should mention that before we got together he used to be kind of distant with me... like not as friendly with me as other people. I had thought it was because he didn't like me but then he told me while we were dating that I just make him bit nervous so he felt he couldn't be himself around me.

So now he is well... hard to read. Some nights he's really friendly, complimenting me and chatty... other nights he's distant and awkward. But our mutual friends says he asks about me and said he was angry he messed things up. Another day when I wasn't there they said they passed a girl and he said 'she wears the same perfume as Bee (that's me)' and then got embarrassed when his friends said they didn't know my perfume. Also, the thing that brought us together was our love of the same music... he has been emailing me links to songs he thinks I'd like intermittently for the past few months. But when I reply to his emails... he doesn't reply... until a few weeks later when he sends another song. It's messing with me head cause it's keeping me thinking he's interested when I'm trying to move on.

So, I'm guessing you'll just say - he said he wants to be friends so just be his friend and he's not interested... and part of me would happily do that. But I'm a very friendly and open person and when I try to be that way with him now I feel awkward and not myself... like I get worried he'll think I'm coming on too strong or that I'm trying to make a move. Part of me still feels something is there, like we have unfinished business but another part things I'm holding on to something pointless. And before you say it, I can't just stop hanging out with him cause he is best friends with my cousins who I refuse to cut out over a guy issue.

What I'm trying to ask is... do you think it sounds like he is just trying to be nice or that he still cares about me? From a guy's point of view... would you send emails to a friend who's a girl if you just wanted to be friends? I'm 25 and he's 26 by the way - I know I sound like a teen about all this... embarrassing really.

[amicon]

When someone messes with your head you're better of cutting all contact with them and concentrate on living your own life.

It didn't work out.

Second guessing his behaviour and motives is time consuming and pointless.

[talaniman]

Sounded good on paper, but in reality... you seem to be better friends, than romantic partners. Don't count on him being your "knight in shining armor", he ain't. Sorry.

[Alexandra12]

Try being friends good friends forever