Check out some similar questions!

mine4 · Aug 15, 2011, 08:26 AM

Hi. We were very close and had good time. The main thing which attracted me to him was his frankness. But to my surprise he never told me that this is not going to work and we would break eventually, even after he realized it long back. The fact is he never raised this issue and I found it out after me asking, we fight so many times and how is it going to work.

To my surprise he said he knew long back that this will not work out and one day we will break. As long as we were in college he was talking to me as usual. Now that we have finished our studies he has joined pg and I have joined work. Now he has reduced talking to me. But when he talks he talks as usual. He says I am his friend only. I can't treat him as my friend. But I can't be without talking to him.

I feel cheated, betrayed. Why he never told me despite his natural character being straight forward? How he got over me so easily? Why I am not able to?

amicon · Aug 15, 2011, 09:36 AM

It's over so start getting over it.
Frankness?
Don't think so-he got what he wanted then he dumped you.

Be ''without talking'' to him-he's a waste of time.

talaniman · Aug 15, 2011, 03:25 PM

Stop talking to him so you eventually can let this go. Break ups suck. Especially when you don't see them coming.

Jake2008 · Aug 16, 2011, 06:34 AM

It is sad that the relationship didn't work out, and perhaps he knew it wouldn't, but hung on hoping for the best. Deciding to end a relationship doesn't mean that either of you are the cause of the breakup. It just didn't work out, and better to break up, than continue down a road that wasn't going to go anywhere.

It sounds like with all the fighting going on, maybe you should have realized it wasn't working out. If it was a big surprise to you, perhaps that is something you can reflect on and see if you can't see where and how things went so wrong. If you learn from this, maybe the next relationship will result in better communication.

If you can't now be just friends with him, then let him know. You can't have it both ways; you can't just be his friend as you say, and yet you can't stop talking to him. You're setting yourself up for misery.

And you may never know at which point things were not working. Only you can answer the question if things would have been different had he told you earlier he didn't think things were going to work out. Sometimes one partner or the other hang on hoping for change, or that their feelings will change.

Try to accept that its over, and no matter how or why it happened, you should have had some clue, without being told, that things were not going well. That he didn't tell you sooner, doesn't mean that he betrayed you, or cheated you as you said.

It would have ended up in the same place anyway.

mine4 · Aug 16, 2011, 07:49 AM

@ JAKE 2008
Ok. But I am a very dependent person. Whatever happens immediately I want to tell it to him.Before I knew him I used to tell everything to my friends. After I became close with him I broke with my friends because I spent very less time with them and this led to so many misunderstandings. Now I don't have any other close and understanding friends. I do have friends but not very close, whom I can trust and share. Is it wrong to be dependent. Because that's y I end up hurt so badly. Should I change. And if so how?

amicon · Aug 16, 2011, 09:07 AM

You should work on rebuilding your selfesteem.

Build a strong you so that you don't feel you have to depend on others to be a whole human being.

talaniman · Aug 16, 2011, 10:21 AM

You could stand to rebuild ties with friends and family, as you learn to stand on your own, and be happy with it.

I wish · Aug 16, 2011, 11:18 AM

Not only are you totally dependent on him, but it sounds like you don't have much of a circle around.

Even if you stay with him forever, it's always more healthy to have close people around you.

So before you worry about having a boyfriend, it's a good time to build stronger friendships and family ties. It's time to reconnect with your friends and family. Furthermore, it's also a great time to meet new people.

Once you have a happy life around you with people who care about you, then you will be in a better position to start a new and healthy relationship.