[fireraine]

Torn between right and wrong, or what is right and right? Recently I've become really close to one of my straight friends, I'm gay, and were both in our 20s. We snuggle, cuddle and meet up at silly hours to just talk, listen to music, and cuddle, we kiss, but that is it, and we have become so close over the past two months, he's told me he would come out to be with me whatever my gender he wants to be with me because he cares, knowing he could loose a lot, I told him being with me might cost him his ex girlfriend (whom is still in love with him) and also his family and friends, he said if its what I wanted he would risk it, I've never had a good things with guys, I become close then push them away before I'm hurt, and for the first time in my life I'm ready to take a risk and maybe fall in love, but thinking I could fall in love with a straight guy? Is it time I got a grip on reality or is he just out to make me his experiment? I asked and he said is never what he planned or wanted and that I'm not anything to do with an experiment, and told me he's finally looked passed gender, looked at the person I am, and has falllen for me. But also recently a gay guy I know has told me he likes me, and I like him, dilema do I turn down a gay guy who could offer me a public relationship or take a risk with a guy that doesn't seem real yet it is? My life is also the place, I have no confidence, no income, and I'm living out of a suit case, I'm not sure what I've gotten myself into but I'm lost.

[Cat1864]

Since you are confused, I am going to suggest that you not become more involved with either one of them. Take a step back and examine how you feel when there isn't pressure to give an answer 'right this minute'.

I think you need to get your life in order and then think about relationships when you are in a more stable position.

Why are you living out of a suitcase? Are you staying with either of these gentlemen?

As for the 'straight' friend, he should not 'come out' for anyone other than himself. It limits the ability to blame anyone else for his decisions and the consequences.

On the 'gay' gentleman, getting involved with someone when you are not sure about your own feelings is not a good idea. Yes, he is already 'out' and the relationship could be public from the beginning, but it won't stop you from wondering about the friend.

Are you prepared to give up your friendship for a public relationship?

It would not be advisable to attempt to keep a friendship with the one you didn't choose. You would be asking for all kinds of complications.

Take care of yourself and don't rush into anything with anyone. Good luck.