[vanheart]

After 3 years, cmon.
What? You weren't over him?

Now he's making excuses & cancelling, yada, yada, yada.

Same sh&t, different year.

Facebook, geez.

"Should I keep trying?"

No.

[mmresd]

Is sad you are allowing someone to play with around in this manner, have some self respect and end it for good. What is the point of getting back together if he is going to still treat you like crap and not even make it to dates you both setup. You are living in the past, a break up happens for a reason, remember the reason, and move on to the next chapter on your life, reading the same chapter again gets boring real quick.

[talaniman]

Leave him alone, the time limit on this has passed, and no need to ask another question about the same thing. Just read the stickies here, and do NO CONTACT the right way.

Your threads have been merged AGAIN

[hannah f]

I know it sound crazy that after 3 years has past that I still had feelings for him but its true. I always cared about him and loved him. And the reason I keep asking questions on here is because he is the one that keeps contacting me. I broke it off yesterday morning and later that night he messaged me again. My heart wants him but my head is telling me no. I'm trying to stay strong but I keep leading back to him. I'm tired of going through this but deep down I want him. And he says he doesn't want to lose me. I told him actions speak louder than words. I'm not getting back together with him because I can't deal with the pain. But I like talking to him. He makes me happy and always has but he doesn't show that he cares with his actions. I don't want to do the no contact rule because we did that before and it lead us back together after 3 years. I'm not trying to get him back. He is the one trying to contact me.

[talaniman]

The only way to break a cycle is to change what you are doing, and if you are unwilling to cut him lose, then the same feelings will keep repeating themselves again, and again.

No contact didn't lead you back together, you STOP doing NC, and went back to the way it was.

Insanity- Doing the same thing over and over, and expecting the same results.

He won't change, and you don't want to. Something has to give, but what will that be?

[Cat1864]

This might seem harsh to you.

This leaps out at me:

I'm 20 years old and my parents still don't allow me to date but I think that it should be my choice if I want to date or not. So I have to go behind my parents back whenever I go see him.

If you aren't allowed to date and are sneaking around to see him, you are possibly getting caught up in rebelling against your parents' rules. It also means you don't have the experience to heal and move on because you can't move on without repeating the sneaking behavior. It is probably very difficult to find someone who you like enough to go against your parents.

This is not a healthy relationship. You don't have the ability to meet up when it is good for him. It is only on your terms at your times. It means that his needs may not be getting met and his schedule may not always be able to adapt to yours. However, it seems to be what you expect.

You say that you are putting all the work into this 'relationship', but you aren't because you can't. There isn't much he can do if everything in your relationship is dependent on your schedule.

If you want to be a grown woman and date, explain this to your parents and find a compromise with them or move out of their house and live by your own rules. Until you can openly date him when it is good for both of you (or you can reschedule when things do come up), it is going to be more heartache and frustration for both of you.

Please get your life in order and then think about getting involved with someone. You will be much happier than you are now.

[vanheart]

Sounds to me that your parents may be right.

How about finding some other interests.

Chasing this guy on fb, etc. Isn't working.

Hes got his own life. Find yours. Hes not your boyfriend.

This is obsessive behavior. Stop.

Not only does it sound crazy. It is.

[vanheart]

Don't contact him, don't respond to his contacts.
Defriend him. Whatever.

He may be your first. But not your.

Try going nc & not thinking about him for month or more. Give yourself a goal. Takes strength & balls. Even for a female.

I know that will help.