[JJAPIS]

Early in the year she broke up with me after 4 years of dating. I went away to med school and she couldn't handle the distance. Not surprising since most of us with relationships heading into the school suffered the same fate. Summer came around I went home and attended my friends pasta party, and she was there. Which surprised everyone because none of my friends seen her since she broke up with me. She had moved on and has a new boyfriend. We greeted each other in the beginning, I quickly noticed the necklace she was wearing, I got it for her when I went to China a few years ago. She tries to sit next to me during the dinner luckily my friend came in and got between us. Later in the evening I was setting up the chairs for the movie. I notice she was standing next to me, I didn't want to be the one running away so I just sat down, she followed. We ended up chatting throughout the movie. I did enjoy catching up. It turns out her computer crashed and she asked for any photos of her and us. I did a double take on the "us" and asked if she was serious about the photos of us. She knows I keep photos of ex's on a cd. Up until this point we hadn't talked since the break up. I am completely confused by the situation, her showing up, wearing jewelry I got her, and making attempts to catch up. All the while she has a new boyfriend. It feels like old wounds just reopened and someone sprinkled salt on them. I thought I was OK until that night. Now I feel like I took multiple steps back. I know there is no going back but that doesn't stop my feels from resurfacing. I had school to distract me earlier in the year. I still have a couple more weeks of break and I am driving myself crazy with over analyzing her actions. Does anyone have any tips/exercises/words of wisdom/anything to help me move on?

[redhed35]

Don't dismiss the healing that has already taken place, the impromptu meeting took you off guard, and its easy for those old memories and feelings to resurface, BUT, you can change how you think, thoughts are just words,change your thinking, focus on something else.

The why's of the conversation don't matter, she may have just been fishing to find out if you were over her, that's just a wild guess, or perhaps she was just being nice and trying to make amends, maybe you misunderstood the situation and her intentions.

Fact is, she's moved on, its still over, you have come through a lot of healing, keep going, get back into being busy in your life and investing in your own happiness.

[joypulv]

I agree that she might have just wanted to see if you were over her. You never know until you know, do you? She could be unhappy with the new boyfriend. She could have been bored that evening, or angry at her boyfriend because he didn't go. Some people really make a big deal about wanting to be friends with all their exes.

If it's burning in you, just ask her. Keep it to one sentence. Necklace, sitting with you, asking for pictures. If her response is at all coy or vague, drop it, don't send the pics, and try to ignore her. Try to be angry at her for toying with you.