[ava21]

Me and my fiancée have been together for almost 2 years. I have been frustrated lately, as she was sick with diabetes. She was having some other health issues. My mom just found out she's sick, she can't walk, and I had been taking it all out on her the last couple of days. We used to fight, but then we'd be okay. She told me she'll never leave me no matter what. Even if I said something really mean in anger, but today she did.

We were talking on the phone, and she wanted me to forgive some one over something he did. I yelled back at her I'll forgive your friend the day you forgive your dad. Now I know her dad did something that hurt her a lot, but I wasn't thinking. All she said then was its over, and slammed the phone shut. She switched both her numbers off. Its been 6 hours, I haven't heard from her since.

She hasn't stayed away from me for so long ever. When ever we broke up earlier she would call back within half an hour. I left her a dozen messages of apology. We were the most serious couple I ever knew and I haven't had a relationship this long with anyone, she was the one.

I'm just wondering will she forgive me?


Edited/T

[Cat1864]

Give her some time to calm down. Six hours doesn't sound like it is long enough. It may take six days, weeks or never. She isn't ready to accept your apology this time. She may never be ready to let this one go.

I think you need to take time to examine your own actions and how you can find better ways to handle your fear, anger, frustration, etc. than taking it out on your fiancée who has problems of her own.

When someone makes a promise such as staying with another person no matter what they say or do, it is usually with the hope the person won't take advantage of the promise. It sounds like you have. No one can take being treated like an emotional punching bag for very long before they either lose all self-esteem or give up.

Is there a reason other than love for her to give you another chance? If she forgives you this time, how long before you hurt her again? How many times do you think she should forgive you and let you use her as a substitute for what is really bothering you?

I am going to suggest you look into finding some counseling to help you deal with the emotional issues of your fiancée being sick and now your mother's illness plus any other problems going on in your life.

[talaniman]

She may, but for now leave her alone to let the dust settle. Seems clear you have pushed her to the limit with your impulsive immature BS! Hard to keep a promise of love, and understanding, when your partner is always trying your patience.

She has enough problems without you being thoughtless.

[agh1990]

You obviously said something that really hit a sore spot with her, and she probably isn't answering your calls or calling you back straight away because you've hurt her more seriously than you ever have before.
Instead of constantly trying to call her, just give her some space. Leave her one last message saying you're really sorry for what you said and that you didn't mean it, then leave the ball in her court. Wait for her to call you back. If she doesn't, then you know where you are, and perhaps will learn not to say things specifically to hurt the person you love. If she does take you back, make sure you don't do anything like that again, as it's not fair for you to throw upsetting things in her face that have nothing to do with a present row, just because you don't like what she's saying to you.