[BK201]

I would be grateful to hear your opinion and suggestions.
This is about an online friend of mine. We are friends for quite a while now, say over 3 years. She is a wonderful lady. We have always helped each other, been there for each other during our tough times and happy times. Though we have not met yet, I treat her just as I would treat a best friend of mine. This is for the introduction.
But I have always had difficult moments with her, which I am not able to understand.
She has asked me not to call her by her name. She would sometimes ask me not to message her much through the social website. She has asked me not to use words from her native language, though I have learnt that language. She has stopped me from sending X-mas card at the last moment, though she knew that I have plans sending her. We both know that she is in pain, heart broken, and I have told her that I'm ready to listen if she needs, but she hardly shares. She seeks out my advice when her friends have trouble, but she seldom talks about herself. And everything is so formal, I end up getting scolded by her if I break any of the above, but even that, she scolds in a formal way. For example, "Anyways, have a nice day, I dont want to spoil your day, not mine". I am sure that I am one of her best friends, but I feel that I am not able to be myself while talking to her. Things are always formal.
She has once told me that she has autism, she has problems in communication and looking at people through their eyes. She is honest with a pure heart, which I like the most. And I donot want to hurt her, so I am not able to point out all these things or ask her. I like her the way she is, but honeslty I don't understand her most of the times, and just end up receiving her cold sentences. Obviously that hurt being kept at a distance for no reason. My question is, I wish she would treat me normally like all friends do. What are your thoughts about this? I feel like a huge formality wall standing in between us. If it is a part of her autism, how should I handle it?

PS: She is not insecure because it is online.

[dontknownuthin]

Simply honor the limits she sets on how she wishes you to treat and address her and if you feel those limits are unreasonable, do not remain in a friendship with her. If she has autism and is able yet to express what she needs and is and isn't comfortable with, you should be aware that isn't an easy thing for her and you need to respect those limits. You may be expecting a level of closeness that is not possible for her due to this disability.