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buzz62 · Aug 4, 2011, 01:04 PM

I am a mother of 3 and I have a 22 year old son whose girlfriend and newborn son has moved in with us. She sleeps most of the day and he works and when he gets home he takes care of the baby. Neither one of them help with anything financially or physically. My husband is disable and him and I do everything there is to do inside the house and out and we are really not able to do it all. What house rules can I set to make sure everyone pulls their own weight?

Wondergirl · Aug 4, 2011, 01:12 PM

First, make a list of chores that you want done daily, weekly, and occasionally -- vacuuming/dusting daily, bathroom cleaned once a week, regular clean-up in kitchen, laundry, grass cutting etc. Then call a family meeting and divvy up the chores. Post a chart on the refrigerator listing each chore and person responsible.

redhed35 · Aug 4, 2011, 01:29 PM

Your son is working all day comes home and takes care of the baby, that does not really leave a whole lot of time for a lot of extra chores in the evening, maybe throw on a wash or clear up after dinner, the child's mother sleeps all day? Is she taking care of the baby? Is she up during the night with the baby?

I'm just remembering when I had my own children, the house was upside down for about 3 months! bringing home my first was a complete shock to the system.

Wondergirl makes a great point about a chore list, something to think about, also how much you need towards housekeeping.

I understand you have a lot on your plate,taking care of your husband, having a new baby in the house, a grandchild can be a wonderful experience.

Do you have a good relationship with his girlfriend? Can you talk to her about things she can help with during the day?

Having an older women in the house with years of experience with babies and children you maybe able to see if she is struggling with the new baby.

A family meeting is probably the best way to go, but thread carefully, this is your house, your home and that needs to be respected, but it can be done in a way that does not create a lot of tension in the house.

odinn7 · Aug 4, 2011, 02:01 PM

LOL... the previous 2 answers were a lot nicer than mine... Do they pay rent at all? Anyway, make the list, tell them they need to do it, or they can get out. You are letting them live there... you shouldn't even need to tell them to help out... it should just be a given. Tell them that she doesn't need to sleep all day either... maybe she can do some things if she were awake.

joypulv · Aug 4, 2011, 02:34 PM

30% of his paycheck should be going directly to you. NOT counting food. Then, chores on top of that.
If he doesn't believe the 30% part, get out the paper and look at rents in the area, even for a one bedroom. I'll bet they are higher.
You can tell them that 15% will go into a savings account, but don't put it in anyone of their names.
What does he spend his pay on?

Natalia06 · Aug 4, 2011, 03:13 PM

All of the answers above are good. But I was wondering if maybe the girlfriend has post-partum? She might need to get on some medication or see a therapist. I do agree that after the son works all day and comes home to take care of the baby that leaves little time for much house work besides minor things. I also agree that the son should be helping you out financially as well. Unless he is working making minimum wage... if he is saving his money to get out of your house any extra expenses besides the necessities ( baby related supplies, food and things of that nature) will make it impossible.