[worclliw123]

My girlfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me a week ago. She is 24 and I am 26 and we have had the most amazing fun throughout our relationship... we never had any serious arguments and had talked of living together, marriage etc in the future. A few weeks ago, she went on holiday with some friends, had loads of fun and came back and said 'we need to talk... ' She basically said that it didn't feel right anymore and she wants to break up. This took me so much by surprise, as we have both told each other we are in love with each other many times and the last weekend we had spent together had probably been one of the best ever in terms of fun and sex since we had got together.

As a bit of background, she is the most honest, down to earth, loving, fun and beautiful girl I have ever met... the type of girl that in any bar or club could have any guy she wants. She hasn't been happy in her own life over the last year... I work but she is in a fortunate financial situation family wise where she has been able to do what she wants without finding the right job / career, which at times has made her bored and depressed. Often I have been to see her and wanted to just chill out when maybe she is looking for me to be full of life and fun all the time and pushing her to go out and do stuff.

We met and talked all day a week ago and she said she wants to be fully honest and leave nothing unsaid. When I asked her for her reasons, she said that she loves me, that it is the hardest decision she has ever had to make and I couldn't have been a better boyfriend but that she thinks we are too similar. She said she feels that we had become more boring together recently, that we have taught each other everything we can and that we both too easily have started not doing as much together or talking as much, and that she feels the relationship had become almost too easy for her - that I was at times not being myself and agreeing with her on everything, pandering to her and being too soft and that I had become too cautious around her. She said she could easily go on, having fun and loving me, but she has to do what feels right and not what's easiest, and wants to end it on a high.

I explained to her that I had thought the same while she was away, that my fear of losing her had made me too soft at times and stop being the real me all the time, relying on her to fill all my spare time rather than being the fun guy with lots of friends who did other things that she was attracted to at the start (she is 24 and when we started going out at 22, said she didn't want a serious relationship but fell in love with me). I said I think long term relationships need working on, that I know I need to be myself a bit more and do some things I stopped doing. She said however she thinks it shouldn't take work to make her truly happy, that it should just happen, and that she loves me like mad but ultimately she doesn't think I am the right person for her and can't say for sure I am the person she wants to spend the rest of my life with.

I guess my question is should I give up, or retain hope that she will miss what we had so much that she will come back? The last thing I said to her was that I love her so much, and even though it's the hardest thing to do, if I have to let her go for her to be happy then I will do it. I thanked her for giving me the best 2 and a half years of my life and told her to be herself and have fun. As she left, she kissed me, told me she loves me and said she couldn't have had a more wonderful boyfriend and has had the best time ever with me.

I have gone 1 week of no contact now, trying to get on with my life, learn, start to improve myself and keep busy but I miss her so much and honestly feel like I will never find another girl that compares. I also think I will find it very hard to ever find a girl I am as attracted to physically, and always see her as the one that got away. Do I carry on without phoning, or should I try one more time to get her back? Will she be sad and missing me and having doubts?



Edited/T

[amicon]

You stick with the no contact,heal and move on.

Break ups are tough-getting on with your life and improving yourself-for you is the way to go now.

It'll take time but you'll get over her.

[talaniman]

What a nice break up, still sucks though doesn't it? They all do, whether the break up is hard or easy, fighting, or friendly.

Don't look back though, or pester her or even contact her at all. Your healing is your responsibility, and dealing with the hurt feelings is a part of it. Right now you are consumed in hurt, and fear, but over time, these feelings will get better, as you start doing your own thing, grieving your loss, and licking your wounds. Then you will regroup, and rebuild, and get your confidence, and optimism back.

Takes time, is all. Less time if you keep your dignity, and self respect, and make new memories to replace the old ones.

[hannah f]

Try one last time but that's it. If a girl isn't happy then she won't ever be with you. If you have to work on being happy then it will cause problems later and maybe lead to her cheating. That's what happened with me. I wasn't happy with my boyfriend and it lead to another guy kissing me. And now we aren't together. He was an amazing guy and the most loyal guy I knew but I wasn't happy with him. She needs to be happy. I'm in a tough situation too.. answer mine: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/am-annoying-him-he-really-into-me-592634.html