[cheekyotter]

I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 26, we've been in a relationship for just over 2 years now and we both completely adore each other HOWEVER... I find that my sex drive is far higher than his, whenever we have sex it's because he has initiated it and due to my strong sexual urges I always comply! Whenever I try to initiate sex my offer usually gets shot down which doesn't exactly make me feel like the sexiest woman alive.
I've tried hinting verbally and physically and I've tried being blunt with him by literally telling him 'I want sex' to which his answer is normally 'I know you do' or 'you always do'. It's not like he turns down all of my sexual advances, I enjoy giving him oral and he's always up for that (what a shocker). I guess it would be nice if he gave me oral at least half as often as I give it to him or if he wouldn't deny my sexual desires but I just don't know how to fix the problem! Any advice?

[Cat1864]

How often are you asking him for sex? How often does he want sex?

Is it really sex you want or affection and/or intimacy?

Do you masturbate or do you expect him to take care of all of your needs because you are in a relationship? One very big misconception some people have is that their partner should take care of all of their needs. It can make a partner feel like a sex toy and cause him/her to back off.

Receiving oral sex like masturbation doesn't take a lot of work or care about a partner's needs. Either he is lazy or he is tired and isn't up to putting the effort into returning the favor. I am guessing that he isn't up to it and is letting you play in an effort to keep peace. Yes, he gets pleasure out of it, but that may not be the main factor for him.

You seem to know what you want, but have you listened to what he wants? Have you given him a chance to express his needs? Do you pay attention to whether he is tired or stressed when you try initiate? Do you ever initiate cuddling or other acts of affection when you aren't trying to get sex or sexual contact?

[cheekyotter]

I never expect him to take care of all of my needs, I understand that he isn't a machine! I do masturbate regularly but I feel I also need to share physical intimacy to be truly satisfied. I would definitely say that I take his needs into account, I understand that when he is stressed or agitated he won't want to focus on me and I believe that giving him sexual attention relieves him of any stress or anxiety he may have. I do always try my best to satisfy his needs and as I am quite a tactile person I often initiate acts of cuddling and non-sexual intimacy to which he always complies. I have no problems with arousing him and I know he thoroughly enjoys the sexual attention I give him, it's just persuading him to give the attention back when he's not initiating it, that's the main problem.
I have spoken to him about it, and he's even voiced concerns of me cheating on him (which I would never do) as he feels he can't satisfy me, but even with his concerns nothing's changed.

[Synnen]

How often are you having sex?

How often are you WANTING it?

I'm the one with the lower drive in my relationship, and let me tell you---there's NOTHING that is more of a turn-off than the constant expectation of sex.

You need to TALK about this, together, to come up with a reasonable compromise on how often sex should happen

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, if you are asking 3 times a day, or 3 times a week makes a difference in how we may answer

[SadButTrue70]

Okay, I am on the same page with you. Here are some things I do I hope they help. I ended up talking to my boy friend and told him I was starting to feel unattractive.
We too had sex three times a day. This has gone down to one if I'm lucky.
I hate to even suggest that he may be getting comfortable in the relationship. The passion fades and yes it is sad. I started wearing more low cut shirts and his friends started pointing out what a nice looking girl he had. That helped.
All I can say is, I feel your pain on the oral. They all say they love to do it then the truth comes out. Here's what I do. I start oral on him then move in the "Mutual oral position" that always works for me. :)

[Synnen]

We still don't know if the OP has sex once a day or once a month.

Expecting sex 3 times a day is completely unrealistic unless you're independently wealthy or you're a teenager.