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phoenix2311 · Jul 27, 2011, 12:33 AM

SO I have been with my boyfriend (or ex now) for 2 years. He was the love of my life and my best friend. We planned on getting married someday and being together forever. Well when he found out that I was pregnant, I told him I wanted to keep it and that I didn't think I could have another abortion.( I had one with him a year before this) And he told me that if I keep it I will be in fact ruining his life. That he does not want to be with someone who makes long life decisions for him. And if I choose another option other than keeping it we could stay together. So we broke up, it had been the one of the hardest things ever! And now I'm am thinking on not keeping it, not for him but for me. Uhh and I just don't know what to do. And I just didn't know men would do this. Or that he would ever do this to me:(

joypulv · Jul 27, 2011, 04:36 AM

If you were making decisions about babies together, did you deceive him about your birth control?
I'm not sure how you could have expected, after knowing his feelings the first time, why anything would change. Or that other men don't do this.
I'm not suggesting that you do what he wants just to get back together. It sounds like it's really over, and it's best that way. The love you feel for him is too clouded now, with resentment that will probably just fester over time.
We can't tell you what to do about abortion, keeping the baby, or adoption. We can listen to your feelings and elaborate on them, or give all different viewpoints and you can choose.
That baby is for 18 years of responsibility, financial, physical, and emotional. If still early in the pregnancy, you can abort. The clinic will talk with you first to be clear that you are clear about what you want, and you can back out. You can let a desperate couple adopt him. If you have a gut reaction to those sentences, please say below what it is.

Jake2008 · Jul 27, 2011, 04:47 AM

You are in a position right now where you do have options. Abortion is one of them.

When you became pregnant, this no longer had to do with your boyfriend not wanting to have a long term commitment against his will. He could have prevented the pregnancy, or you could have prevented the pregnancy.

That being said, you also know that 'someday' may or may not have happened,with or without a pregnancy. Until you have a ring on your finger and are actually married, no matter how much you love him, bringing a baby into this world shouldn't be an accident. After the first pregnancy with this guy, you should have learned from that scare, that neither of you are ready to have a baby, and invest all that is needed to raise a healthy child with two parents.

If you think aborting the pregnancy will save your relationship, it may, but only you have the responsibility to make the right choice for yourself. He will not stick around as you know. And, do you really see yourself having to rely on him for support, financial and otherwise, if you decide to carry through with the pregnancy?

If you are not ready to have a baby, financially and otherwise; those are the reasons to seriously consider your options. All of your options.

Chevy223 · Aug 15, 2011, 11:48 PM

First of all.
How old are you? If you are not old enough to make responsible decisions about YOUR child's life, you are not old enough to be having sex. Abortion is not an after thought or a form of birth control, you are terminating a life.. Which is not to be taken lightly. You should never consider abortion if it has anything to do with your current love life or "ruining" someone else's life. This is not about convenience, it is now about your unborn child. You are not "deciding" to end a life like you are deciding between chocolate and vanilla iced cream. Please, for the love of god, if you do not decide to keep this child, invest in oral contraceptives and always make your significant other wear a condom, unless of course you are in a loving monogamous (preferably married) relationship.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 16, 2011, 04:32 AM

Yes what type of birth control were you using ? It can happen if you are using it, but abortion is not a form of birth control.

Next you seem to have a disconnect that this is a baby, not a "it" you keep calling the baby "it" like there is not a life that is going to be ended if you have an abortion.

It is sadly a option you legally have, but you also should see that this boyfriend was using you and had he really loved you, would be with you no matter what.