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    zav1239's Avatar
    zav1239 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 25, 2011, 12:46 PM
    How can I accept the way I look?
    I hate the way I look. I'm 22, and I don't look great like other women my age. I've always been called ugly, since I was in middle school. I hate that I have really thin hair (and it happened naturally, it's not thinning, it's just thin so it can't be helped naturally). I just dislike my face, also. I feel it's kind of masculine.

    I also hate my body because I'm pear shaped. I hate having practically no boobs and HUGE thighs.

    I know I should be grateful that I'm healthy and everything, but that's eeasier said than done. I don't want to play victim, but being ugly is no walk in the park. Especially because people (especially men) react so differently to us "ugly" ones. And I'm so tired of getting depressed every time I'm watching a film and there's female nudity, especially because they always show skinny girls with huge boobs. Blonde girls with blue eyes. I just feel so ugly and so far from the beauty ideal. I know being beautiful is not easier, but at least guys wouldn't be such idiots to me and would at least appreciate me, even in just a shallow level... I'm great inside, but I feel no matter how much I try to show it, guys just don't appreciate it. They're not interested in that, all they want is a pretty face and good T n'A.

    Here are some pictures:

    Face:
    (This one's on a "good day" with some make up on)
    http://i55.tinypic.com/rixbhe.jpg

    (This one's awful... but it's a clear face shot)
    http://i54.tinypic.com/53mg6q.jpg

    Body:

    (Here you can see how pear shaped I am, you can also appreciate how thin my hair is)
    http://i54.tinypic.com/2dc6a92.jpg

    How can I accept myself? I'm tired of hating the way I look, of feeling insecure around guys and envious around girls... I'm tired of feeling that my "inside" isn't really valuable, and I'm tired of getting depressed when I watch TV or movies.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Jul 25, 2011, 12:56 PM

    I see a very pretty girl under all that poor self esteem.

    Have you ever been to a hair stylist? A good cut would probably do you a world of good. Let go of some of that hair that is dragging down your face. A good cut, such as a bob, will allow your hair to bounce and look thicker.

    Your body and legs look perfectly fine to me. Don't wear leggings or clingy pants and tops (most women can't and shouldn't because they accentuate curves).

    Now, why are you so down on yourself? You believe what all those mean girls have told you? They're envious of you.
    JAidA:/'s Avatar
    JAidA:/ Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jul 25, 2011, 01:06 PM
    I can't see the pictures. But I'm sure your beautiful. You just have to wake up every morning and think positive about yourself and just try to be as happy as you can (:
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #4

    Jul 25, 2011, 01:13 PM
    ARE YOU FOR REAL?
    I don't believe this is a real person asking real questions. I just don't believe it. You are gorgeous. You are not pear shaped, your hair is a heck of a lot thicker than mine, this is driving me nuts that you are actually online showing beautiful pictures of yourself and putting yourself down. Or fishing for compliments?? I DON'T BELIEVE THIS FOR ONE SECOND. If I had to show pictures of myself I'd have to shoot you afterwards. On a blind date, I'd have to wear a bag on my head AND one on his in case one ripped. (These are old jokes BTW) Do you get it yet? Stop this, just stop it, I can't stand it when a beautiful young woman does this. I'm not going to be gentle about this.
    southamerica's Avatar
    southamerica Posts: 667, Reputation: 400
    Senior Member
     
    #5

    Jul 25, 2011, 01:14 PM

    I see an hourglass figure that many women would LOVE to have. Dark features (dark hair, olive skin, dark eyes) that give you an exotic look. Full lips, wonderful eyebrows, piercing eyes.

    You, and many other BEAUTIFUL women, don't follow hollywood's model of perfect beauty. So you don't have blond hair, blue eyes, and big boobs. So you don't have a stick for a body. Many women fit that bill and are beautiful, true. Many women fit that bill and wish that they had YOUR looks.

    Like Wondergirl said, maybe change up your hair. It'll feel awesome to have short hair with layers that you can flip around. Your hair now is beautiful (your "good day" photo is stunning!), but change it up to boost YOUR confidence.

    Finally, stop looking to hollywood for what is beautiful and what isn't. Even the most "beautiful" women in the world don't love their appearance all the time. We can't all have stylists, personal trainers, and airbrushes. We're human, and we're beautiful. What makes us the most beautiful is when we believe in ourselves.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #6

    Jul 25, 2011, 02:32 PM
    Yeah, I have trouble believing this is real too... you may think you're ugly but you are terribly wrong. You may not be blonde with big boobs but that doesn't make you ugly at all. Not even close. Stop thinking you're ugly.

    Also, as far as guys not treating you right because you're "ugly"... guys like that, that are that completely shallow, don't matter anyway.
    JAidA:/'s Avatar
    JAidA:/ Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Jul 25, 2011, 05:55 PM
    Pfff I just saw the oictures and you are notttt ugly!! You are like one of those girls that look like they are ready to go get some boys that's how pretty you are!! Girl stop putting yourself down!!
    lilred876's Avatar
    lilred876 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Dec 20, 2012, 10:34 PM
    You are beautiful,I love your thighs! And waist! you know those girls in the nude scenese are most likely photoshopped, have tons of hours spent on their hair and makeup and have implants, you are natural, they are fake don't worry about it!
    lilred876's Avatar
    lilred876 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Dec 20, 2012, 10:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by southamerica View Post
    i see an hourglass figure that many women would love to have. Dark features (dark hair, olive skin, dark eyes) that give you an exotic look. Full lips, wonderful eyebrows, piercing eyes.

    You, and many other beautiful women, don't follow hollywood's model of perfect beauty. So you don't have blond hair, blue eyes, and big boobs. So you don't have a stick for a body. Many women fit that bill and are beautiful, true. Many women fit that bill and wish that they had your looks.

    Like wondergirl said, maybe change up your hair. It'll feel awesome to have short hair with layers that you can flip around. Your hair now is beautiful (your "good day" photo is stunning!), but change it up to boost your confidence.

    Finally, stop looking to hollywood for what is beautiful and what isn't. Even the most "beautiful" women in the world don't love their appearance all the time. We can't all have stylists, personal trainers, and airbrushes. We're human, and we're beautiful. What makes us the most beautiful is when we believe in ourselves.
    Freakin love this response! :)
    lovelorn92's Avatar
    lovelorn92 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #10

    Jan 15, 2013, 10:22 PM
    If you're ugly, then what does that make me? Quasimodo? Seriously? And whoever has planted this 'ugly' idea in your head is clearly just jealous. You're not even average, for crying out loud!
    backpack2389's Avatar
    backpack2389 Posts: 255, Reputation: 83
    Full Member
     
    #11

    Jan 16, 2013, 07:09 AM
    I looked at your pictures and all I can't say is that you must be crazy. Your face is beautiful - full lips, cute nose, and amazingly gorgeous skin.

    As far as your build goes, you make me think of a couple guys I know. They are Brazilian men and are good friends. When they see a woman with full hips like yours they go crazy! They'll say things like, "Did you see that? Tiny waist and then amazing a**!" They don't stop talking about how she was for days. Most women I know (including myself) have fuller hips and it is honestly the way you're naturally supposed to be built.

    The 'beauty ideals' that are seen in movies are just that - they are ideals and few people embody them. Ask anybody and I bet that if they compared themselves to the 'ideals' long enough, they would find a million things wrong with themselves/that they don't like about themselves. Stop comparing yourself to something that may not even be real (airbrushed, surgically altered, etc. ) and start finding ways to accentuate those aspects of your appearance that you like.
    mogrann's Avatar
    mogrann Posts: 860, Reputation: 193
    Dogs Expert
     
    #12

    Jan 16, 2013, 12:31 PM
    I will not look at the pictures because no matter what anyone says you will discount it. How do I know that? I have the same issues.
    Being told over and over you are ugly does things to your mind. You are not crazy. I would suggest a therapist though to work on yourself esteem. It may or may not work. I have learned to accept my looks for what they are and accept I am a very nice person on the inside. That to me more than makes up for any short comings I have. I can not tell you what to accept about yourself or what to work towards... only you can. It is your life and your choices what you work towards.
    I do feel for you as most people do not realize how long lasting bullying is. How deep the wounds it gives to a person.

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