[bazzblack]

Ok, I shall explain myself. I'm really good friends with a girl, she is also my co-worker. We hang out all the time, we like to go see movies together, go out for meal together somewhere and what not, but she has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend knows of me and knows that we hang, but seems to be fine with it. I've slept at her house before(Just me and her, but I slept on the couch. I'll respect the fact that she does have a boyfriend.)

We've never remotely had any kind of sexual contact (Again, I respect the fact she has a boyfriend. Closest thing to it would probably be hugs.) She does not see her boyfriend for weeks at a time as he lives far away and is sometimes gone for weeks on end. I'd do anything for her, I really like her. Even just today I made her lunch and brought it to her at work. I tell her all the time I'd do anything for her and tell her how important she is to me, she tells me how much she appreciates it.

Sometimes when she speaks of her boyfriend, she will tell me that she doesn't feel he misses her when they're not together. She tells me that she and her boyfriend have little contact, she tells me he texts or calls her very little and his excuse is that he is always busy everyday and can't even find time to send one text throughout a day. I want to tell her how I really feel about her, but I am afraid of how she will react, whatever happens between her and her boyfriend I still want to at least stay good friends with her.

I am also afraid that if I tell her how I feel and things don't turn out how I hoped, we're still co-workers and work the next day would be very awkward for the both of us. She sometimes complains about her boyfriend, but I still don't want to be responsible for breaking them up, I want to respect their relationship and not mess with it. I don't know him personally. What do I do? I am so confused.

[adviceishere]

What do you do? You stay away from her, she is spoken for, she may lose a lot of respect for you if you did tell her how you feel. She is forbidden fruit and you are torturing yourself by hanging out with her.

Even if you did tell her, what out-come are you hoping for?

[amicon]

De-confuse yourself by leaving her be-she's in a relationship-she's off limits.

[bazzblack]

even if you did tell her, what out-come are you hoping for?

To date her, but I'm going to keep from messing with their relationship. Right now as it is, I just feel as if I'm hiding something and want to get it off my chest, but at the same time would like to stay friends. Wishing I didn't like her anymore then just a friend to be honest, but the only thing I understand is what I feel.

[talaniman]

I can understand where you are coming from but let me explain the problem to you. You are not a true friend, but one with a hidden agenda, so you are hanging around her way too much, and getting your feelings stirred all up.

Keep your mouth shut, as weaseling into a relationship that has problems for your own reasons, is inappropriate behavior for a so called friend. Instead, back up and get your own girl and leave someone else's alone. I know, you are respecting her relationship, and you should continue to, and stay within the boundaries of good behavior, especially having to work with her.

Maybe you cannot help the feelings you have, but you darn sure can help what you do about them. But you spend way too much time with this friend though. Its up to her how she deals with her partner, without your influence because you are biased.

[bazzblack]

I know what I should do now, it's for the better. Thank you all very much.

[talaniman]

Just me, I would just back off without fanfare, or drama, being friendly at work, and busy and unavailable after work. I would be doing my own thing, and when she asks what's up, I would just tell her you have been busy lately.

[DG]

You said she complains about her boyfriend to you.
She's talking to you as a co worker lots of people do this . This means nothing,
You can be her friend and co worker , but I would leave it at that..
Good Luck