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    AntaraG22's Avatar
    AntaraG22 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 19, 2011, 04:52 AM
    What to do if boyfriend is angry?
    My Boyfriend and me love each other a lot.. but everyday there are quarrels between us and he scolds me a lot.. I always cry and I only say sorry to him even if it is not my mistake.. before some months he was behaving very lovingly with me.. but now he is not the same like before.. I want to get my boyfriend like before again.. please suggest me something so that I can get my boyfriend back like before.. please tell me..
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Jul 19, 2011, 05:05 AM
    There's nothing more contradictory that someone who claims to be very much in love but nothing's the same as before - you are in love with the past. You aren't in love any more. Time to break up. Being 'in love' isn't love anyway, it's infatuation. Love ONLY comes with the test of time. It is respect, admiration, comfort, appreciation, and enjoyment - all the attributes that last after romance fades. It takes years.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #3

    Jul 19, 2011, 05:29 AM
    It happens, through no 'fault' of one partner or the other, that after the honeymoon period, the relationship settles down, and you are left with the good, bad, and indifferent. The conflicts, little arguments, the day to day learning about each other, reveals who your partner really is. We all put our best foot forward at the beginning of any relationship.

    If you have good communication between the two of you, and you can effectively work through your problems, that is one thing. But, if arguments are becoming more frequent, and more frequently unresolved, or solved in the wrong way (ie you giving in with an apology even when you are not in the wrong), that will likely lead to more of the same.

    If your needs are not being met, for example you are not being heard, understood, respected, and seen as an equal in decisions and conflict resolution that comes up, and instead you are compromising your own sense of self, in order to please him, then be prepared for more of the same.

    In all the years I have been married, I have never lost my independence, or confidence, or felt I had to make a fake apology for something, just to keep the peace. Just because you are a couple, does not mean that one has special powers and control over the other.

    It might be time to not be as critical of him- you know how he is- but to be more critical instead of yourself. He will not ever be how he was in the beginning, and you know you cannot change him. Is it time to deal with your own needs and wants, and come to some conclusion as to the probable course this relationship you are in, is going to take?

    Being silenced into submission, what is what your post implies, is never a good solution.

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