[grimetime]

Now I think I already broke like 3 rules of what everyone's been saying about the similar question I have and I mean when it comes to being in a relationship with the girl I've bin with for like 9 months now. I've read most of the tips and postings that had similar topics but I'm on a need to know basis of what women mean when they want a break.

So far it seems like you all (women) don't even know what you want for yourselves but I've almost demanded an explanation. She tells me don't worry just do whatever I feel like doing. I've almost cried like a wuss in front of her and the old me would NEVER have ever even think twice about shedding a tear over no girl except my mom and I also showed her it feels like my teammate is leaving me in the dark.

Reading a lot of these posts about give her the space she needs makes sense, and let her miss me, but it almost feels like there's more to what she's telling me. Should I worry about her cheating, should I worry about what she's doing in general?

In the beginning she begged me to be with her and now its like her interest in me has been completely turned off, she use to love our sex and that slowly decreased, she would call me all the time and all of that has changed. The chase for her was over when I finally gave in but she still wanted to truly be with me.

I just want her to let me know what it is and its frustrating, you either want to break up, or you don't, but at the same time I want her so I don't want to pressure her. Can you all help reassure me what are some ways of dealing with my dilemma? Should I just be looking for something to rebound off, and get on with my life? Is it all right if I patiently wait for her to let me know what she really wants? I feel like I'm stuck in limbo right now, and this girl has me on a short leash. Any ideas will help.



Edited/T

[talaniman]

When they ask for space, take it as a break up, leave them alone, and do your own thing, and enjoy yourself. No need for a rebound, that's not fair, nor will it make you feel better about yourself. But there is plenty of fun to be had while you get over her. Why not?

If she changes her mind she will let you know, but you never hang around after you get dumped and be put into the friend zone thinking she will change her mind. I have always disappeared after being dumped, and I am sure you have read about NO CONTACT. That allows you to get over someone and keep your dignity and self respect, by making better decisions for yourself, based on FACTS, and not just intense feelings.

Hey it was fun while it lasted, but now accept things have changed, and move on. Its not just females that can be confused about what they want, us fellows have the same problem sometimes.

Talaniman Rule- Never ever mess with any one who has just dumped their partner

Talaniman Rule-When they ask for a break, give it to them and do your own thing.

Talaniman Rule- When they need space, give it to them, and disappear from their lives. This allows you to heal.

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else.

Talaniman Rule-Never follow your heart when it’s so broken, it makes the brain feel like mush

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and that’s only after the lust has worn off for you both.

Talaniman Rule- If one person isn't available, there are millions that are. Don't get stuck on one who is BUSY with other things.

Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, that’s just plain crazy.

Talaniman Rule- Don't play games with your heart, and don't let somebody else play games with it either.

Talaniman Rule- Don't get sucked in the confusion of being friends, at the expense of your healing

Talaniman Rule- Give yourself 6 months of dating and getting to know someone, before you decide together to be DATING EXCLUSIVELY, and having fun getting to know each other.

Talaniman Rule- When you break up, have the courtesy to revoke their relationship privileges.

Talaniman Rules- when you get dumped, don't go back to get dumped again

Talaniman Rule- When they need space, give it to them, and disappear from their lives. This allows you to heal.

Talaniman Rule- Never wait when you get dumped. Get your own life and let them get theirs.

Talaniman Rule-Never wallow in your own shat!

Talaniman Rule-Never put all your eggs in a stranger’s basket. Save some for your own basket.

Talaniman Rule-if they don't like you, forget 'em.

[vanheart]

I prefer the last rule here.

Simple.

[HurtScorpio]

Actually I don't think women when they say they want a break are "confused about what they want" at all. I think it is a pathetic way of saying, by both men and women, that they are ready to end the relationship however they want to keep you around as you said, on a short leash, until they can find someone else, and then they will dump you. Sorry to have to say that but it is the sad cruel truth. They get their break to go out to do what they damn well please while you are mourning their loss and they know you are standing by loyally waiting for them. Give me a break. I would not suggest entering another relationship until you heal as it will be a rebound and that new person will be hurt. Allow yourself time to realize your good qualities. She obviously has moved on and is unable to be honest and sy it. Maybe you need to but if you do, do not be surprised if Ms. "I need a break" comes crawling back but it would only be temporary because it is the old,"I want what I can't have until I have it -then when I get it I don't want it." she is not worth it! Leave her alone -that is what she wants! You will be just fine :-)