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    Nzou's Avatar
    Nzou Posts: 62, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Jul 13, 2011, 12:38 PM
    What do you do when you don't trust your girlfriend
    I have dated my girlfriend for over 2 years now. The problem is 3weeks ago I found out she had been sleeping with some guy for over 6 months. I was so devastated by the revelation. I broke up with her immediately.
    Now the problem is that she has since apologized about the whole thing. She was very sincere in doing so and she says she wants to be with me. I love her with all my heart but I have lost all respect and trust for her. Do you think its safe to get back with her.
    ken007nielsen's Avatar
    ken007nielsen Posts: 288, Reputation: 211
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    #2

    Jul 13, 2011, 02:17 PM
    Well that's just it, you can't be sure, but then again you can never be sure - not even if she hadent ever been cheating on you.

    I can understand why someone would call off the relationship if they caught their partner cheating.
    And I can even understand if they wanted to fix it, but your case is something I wouldent try to fix, this wasent a 1-night woopsie, she had sexual relation with this guy 1/4 of your relationship.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #3

    Jul 13, 2011, 02:42 PM

    Agree with "Ken" - she's been your girlfriend for 24 months. For 6 of those months she's been cheating and having sex with you and some other guy. She put your health at risk (as well as her own, but at least she was aware of her behavior).

    Would I trust her again? No.

    There are one time cheaters who learn a lesson and serial cheaters. She looked you in the face and lied to you for 6 months. That's a big deal for me, a deal breaker.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Jul 13, 2011, 03:53 PM
    I agree with everybody.

    This isn't 'just' about the cheating. It shows her character loud and clear. You would not choose to be involved with someone of her character again, I'm sure. So why would you lower your standards to accept her back.

    Had you not found out, she would not be 'sincere' in her apology for her behaviour now. She would be carrying on, making a fool of you, for as long as she liked.

    She is not honest, trustworthy, with any scruples or loyalty. Cheating involves a lot of lying, setting things up behind your back, and covering up tracks afterward. And not just once, but dozens upon dozens of times, over a six month period.

    You can do much, much better.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Jul 13, 2011, 07:13 PM

    Do you think its safe to get back with her.
    Hell no! But you already know that don't you?
    Nzou's Avatar
    Nzou Posts: 62, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Jul 14, 2011, 01:34 PM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    Yeah I know that I gues. Part of me is trying to dig up sm kind of justification for her actions so mayb we can get bek. Its really messing with my head ryt now.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Jul 14, 2011, 02:19 PM

    Go with what you know as fact! You don't trust her, so what's to go back too?
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #8

    Jul 14, 2011, 02:58 PM
    She played you and you found out.

    She was ready to keep on cheating on you.

    Not sure how you can love that.

    Never talk to this girl again.

    Ever.
    bullfight's Avatar
    bullfight Posts: 8, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #9

    Jul 14, 2011, 07:16 PM
    It's safe to get back with her for a booty call, if you use protection. Other than that, no.

    Some people need to repeat their experiences two or three times before they learn their lesson. So maybe this is in store for you, should you choose to give your girlfriend a "second chance".

    In reality, once a cheater, always a cheater - unless she had some kind of divine revelation that has given her personality a complete makeover overnight. You can ask her, maybe she has. But an apology is nothing. Words are cheap.

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