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esbey2011 · Jul 9, 2011, 03:24 PM

I entered into a relationship in 2006. I had $50,000 in cash from the sale of a house and over $300,000 in retirement money. I had hardly any debt at that time. My ex boyfriend and I went through that money supporting both of us. He was unemployed during most of the time. I am now down to $50,000 in my retirement plan, all cash is gone and I owe over $15,000 in credit cards and IRS debt. (my brother paid the IRS off but I still owe him) Can I sue him for any of that money lost or the debt?

cdad · Jul 9, 2011, 03:28 PM

Do you have any contracts with him that shows it is a debt owed to you? If not then the courts are going to regard this as a gift and now you have sour grapes and are trying to take it all back.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 9, 2011, 03:32 PM

Most likely not, since you used it to pay joint expense or was giving him money willingly. If you loaned him any of the money, with an agreement that it would be repaid. You could sue for that.

esbey2011 · Jul 9, 2011, 06:04 PM

There was a verbal agreement he would pay me back for airline tickets to fly his kids and himself. Also, I paid child support for him. Those were things that we agreed he would pay back. There was never discussion that I would support him. It was always spoken that he would pay me back when he got a job. Not sure if that makes a difference or not. Thanks!

ScottGem · Jul 9, 2011, 06:15 PM

Towards what? Is he not paying you back or what? What is your question?

Fr_Chuck · Jul 9, 2011, 06:37 PM

Please, please do not start a new thread when you want to add more info. This site does not work like a blog. No one knew what you were talking about in your second post, since they did not read your first.

I have merged your posts

Please just answer your own question to add more info

AK lawyer · Jul 10, 2011, 05:48 AM

Originally Posted by esbey2011

... My ex boyfriend and I went through that money supporting both of us. ... Can I sue him for any of that money lost or the debt?

No. You choose to blow the money. That's the way the cookie crumbles.

Originally Posted by esbey2011

... There was never discussion that I would support him. It was always spoken that he would pay me back when he got a job.
...

Why would he have an obligation to pay your joint living expenses? He wouldn't have such an obligation even if you had been married.

The airline tickets and child support, maybe. It could be considered a loan, or maybe a gift. But everything else, no.

excon · Jul 10, 2011, 06:45 AM

Originally Posted by esbey2011

It was always spoken that he would pay me back when he got a job. Not sure if that makes a difference or not.

Hello e:

It DOES make a difference - just NOT the difference you hopped for. If he was unemployed when you met him in 2006, and hasn't worked since, no reasonable person would have continued to LOAN him money BASED on some future employment... Presumably, you "loaned" him money throughout your relationship, even after it SHOULD have become clear to you that he had no intention of working as long as the money lasted.

If you sue, you'll NEVER win.

excon