[juliebulie]

I told my husband prior to getting married, that I have a very HIGH sex drive and always have. He said it was no problem and he was eager to move forward. Now, I'm just so frustrated! I love him and I'm not the cheating type. But I need more. For me it is a form of release and relaxation in addition to feeling connected to the man I love and desire. I'm so lonely in a sense. I mean it's like we exist, but it feels more like a really great friend that I roommate with and we help each other and vent our frustrations but no action. He has energy to help his dad with whatever, or his son, or his friend or do a project but yet he never has energy for sex. It has already been proven clinically that his testosterene is LOW and he was doing so much better but then the lotion they gave him ran out. I mentioned to him recently that he needs to get some more lotion/cream to build his testostrene up & he said yeah I know but it is way expensive. I'm thinking to myself ***? He will spend the money on tools, fishing stuff, deer stuff, phone and numerous other bull****, but I'm not important enough to make my need and desire come to pass? It really does make me wonder and doubt his sincerity of love and devotion to me. I KNOW I'm a good wife. I've given up everything for him. He did not want me to work downtown when I was laid-off & ultimately I lost my home that was a dream come true. I did not mind. Now we live in the country which is nice, but we are so broke & rarely do diddly squat and the minimum pleasure I seek is intamacy and SEX and I'm doing good if I get it once a week and he can't last very long neither. I've NEVER had a man that I could not train to hold out longer. I know I'm hot, tight & have muscle control but still. If he can't do me with his tool he can still do something, surprise me with a toy or something. I'm getting concerned. Any advice would be welcomed.

[Wondergirl]

Do you work too? If not, how do you fill your days? Do the two of you spend time cuddling and watching movies or TV or sitting in front of the fireplace and a roaring fire? Is he affectionate and loving otherwise, hugging or kissing you unexpectedly, holding hands with you when you walk together, putting an arm around you?

[Cat1864]

How old are both of you?
How long have you been married?
Does he have any health problems besides the low testosterone?
Is he on any medications other than the cream?

This is probably going to seem harsh.

If you are putting as much pressure on him to perform as your post makes it sound, then I can guess that he is tired of feeling like a sex toy instead of a husband. Not getting more of the cream may be his way of letting you know that he is stressed out and you need to change your tactics.

I see a lot of what you want but nothing about where you have sat down with him and communicated with each other about needs and tried to reach a compromise. Venting frustrations is not usually a good way to communicate and get anything figured out. Venting usually ends up with one person trying to placate the other one without actually resolving any issues.

Do you ever have physical contact with him that you don't try to turn into intercourse?

Do you masturbate? Do you think about taking the edge off so that the quality of what you have with him is more important than the quantity?

Have you tried changes in diet to increase his testosterone levels?

Do you know what he fantasizes about? Do you know what his turn ons are?

[smoothy]

Stress and hard work will decrease the male libido... hammering him will do it even more.

As was suggested.. talk, don't demand. The last thing he wants is additional stress.

How old is he... this will more pronounced as he gets older. So it helps to know his age.