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    Bathboy10's Avatar
    Bathboy10 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 5, 2011, 09:49 AM
    Can I get my ex back?
    My biggest question is can I get my ex back? How?
    Two questions really...

    We had a great relationship in the beginning... up to or over a year was amazing, for us both. She told me I was the best bloke she's ever had and really good with her 6/now7yr old son. I'm 24 in August and she'll be 26 then too.
    I began to get paranoid and clingy (didnt like her going out, stuff like that) this escallated over time and I got worse (didn't like her wearing certain things) this made her not be herself anymore.

    Anyway, we broke up about two months ago and it was/is really hard for me to leave her alone, I am doing this, but to start I rang, tx, sent letters, flowers... etc. Soon after (3weeks) she invited me to her boys football/soccer tournament and it went really well. We carried on talking and although she kept telling me she was unsure, we kept meeting (I know she wanted to really) so I took her and her son to the cinema a few days later, then for a meal. It went really well, holding hands and stuff... on the way back in my car Kobi fell asleep, so outside hers, we spoke for nearly 2hours about us and other things, we both were emotional, then we kissed! This made her more upset, she cried and said she was scared, I told her to get out the car so we didn't wake Kobi and hugged her and tried reassuring her.

    Fathers day came and she gave me two Fathers' day card from her boy, he doesn't see his dad and I'm probably the only father figure he has got.

    After that we still spoke a bit and had a date arranged a few days after, I picked her up and we went for a drink just the two of us, again, we got on really well - like we do and had a real nice time (emtional again but nice) I thought we were only going for a drink, we were there for 2hours. I admit I got a bit heavy but it seemed OK at the time (especially when this happened).
    We got in my car and she instantly threw herself on my, ripped my clothes off and away we went!!
    I dropped her off after a nice long hug and she and I, both seemed fairly happy! We had another date/day out arranged, with her son too, for me to take them out.

    TWO DAYS after that, I was just finishing work and I got a tx, saw her name and my heart was already racing... only to read - - - "I'm really sorry to do this, but I can't doo this and don't want to meet you. I'm too scared and I don't want to feel like I did at the end of our relationship again and I'm not willing to put myself through it. I'm doing this for all three of us. Please don't hate me! I'm so glad I met you and showed me a love I never knew x x x"

    Now I know I/we rushed it a bit and I said some heavy stuff that night but ***.. We haven't spoken in nearly two weeks and it would've been our 2yr anniversary last week, I put two roses through the door with a card, just saying, "THINKING OF YOU x x"

    I still have not heard anything and I'm trying to leave her, but also worried, the longer I leave it, the less chance I have.

    Wow, sorry, didn't mean to go on, nut I guess my REAL, ONE question is, what do I do, please don't say move on, how can I get her back in my arms again?

    Thanks I really appreciate if you read and answer this.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Jul 5, 2011, 10:50 AM

    I disagree about the longer you leave it the less change you have. She needs to get her head on straight. Does she want to be your girlfriend, someone you meet for sex, something else?

    I think you are confusing sex and love when it comes to your last meeting.

    How can you get her back in your arms again? That's her decision to make. There's no magic formula. If you want to be welcomed and then rejected over and over again don't move on.

    If and when you tire of the games you'll find the strength to move on.

    Maybe in the meantime she'll decide what she really wants.

    Bottom line - she has a child to care for emotionally as well as physically. She has that concern (obviously). You can't make someone do anything they don't want to do or aren't able to do - and that includes loving you.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Jul 5, 2011, 09:36 PM

    You do need to move on in the sense of the word that you never put your life on hold for someone.

    So,live your life and keep yourself busy doing the things that make you happy.

    As for her feelings,sorry,but I'd take her word for it-she doesn't want a relationship.

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