[gloriousght]

my abusive husband of 3 years is forcing me to work for him without pay. I worked 4 months prior to marriage where I was promised quarterly lump sum pay check. We got married and he never paid me. Only compensation was medical benefits as employee and for my dependent children. He has not paid into social security or retirement benefits like rest of staff. My hours are random and range from couple hours to full weeks worth per weak, depending on his need and demand. Is he required by law to have paid me for that unmarried time as well as the taxes ss. etc. and what about now. If I find an excape from the marriage, can I sue him for the salary he promised me and agreed to initially for the management position he gave me officially? Is he legally obligated to pay me for work if I am his spouse? He receives paycheck bi-weekly, I do not. He has paid his stepson, sister, daughter, in past for any and all work they have done for him.

Second question, he was angry yesterday and threatened to toss my daughter (12 years old) out on the street immediately. He believes he has the right and holds all the cards because everything he has is either under his name, or the companies, including cars,house paid for by company, etc. Can he legally make me move out by just demanding it because everything is in his name? Can he legally take back the car as its in the company's name. I have no money, all credit cards etc. are in his and his company's name, he doesn't allow me money, and I have no access to resources. He intentionally keeps me trapped financially. I had to agree to literally be his servant and obey his every word, blackmailed, so I had a roof over my and my daughter's heads. We are not from this state of Oregon, from Hawaii, and do not know the laws of the mainland. I also need suggestions as he has threatened many times and implied he may kill us if I leave him without his permission. He makes references to local family homicides from our community where the husband went crazy and killed his family, pointing out he could relate to them, and could easily find himself in the same position if he lost everything. So I am afraid to challenge him. I have no proof of this or his pushing and shoving me, verbally abusing either. Because he's much older than me, 64, he's stated he can state he is the victim of spousal abuse if I try to ever claim the abuse and will act like a fragile old man, he is very good at this. Additionally because all his credit cards are in businesses name, and then he reinburses the company for personal expenses we make on them, he has blackmailed me that if I ever leave him or if I try to sue him in a divorce, he will have me arrested for embezzeling from the company and spending company money on the cards. Although I had kept and handed in all receipts to the bookkeeper for the card he refers to as he ordered prior to him taking it away, many of the receipts are missing, so I have no proof that I was not doing anything wrong. I am in lots of trouble and scared. And no, I do not have friends or family to support or help me. I am kept isolated from making close friends, and no family available to lean on or go to. I am so out of my element and world and am so trapped. I am forced to wait on him hand and foot, as a slave in the home as well. He makes decisions on everything, what to eat, when to eat, all movements and can throw tantrum over wanting to purchase a box of macaroni for my daughter, its not the money, he has an excellent income and savings, it's the issue of control. He also frequently requires me to groom him, comb his hair, put his sox on his feet. My daughter and I were forced to remodel by ourselves his investment house that was beat up, it took me a year and was very hard labor. He has injured my knee perminently from jumping on it while I was sleeping. I have no proof he did it to me. I can not call police because of the blackmail.

I am imprisoned and feel no way of escape. He says I owe him for bring my daughter and I to Oregon, and for providing a home for us and food, the used clothes we get from thrift store etc. Help, suggestions, ideas, resources, would be greatly appreciated. Sign

[Jake2008]

Ignorance is no excuse for not knowing what your rights are. See a lawyer, if only to answer the questions you have asked here, and gain some insight as to what you should have known long ago.

You cannot be forced into slavery, by any means. If you choose to remain where you are, things will not change; he's got you where he wants you. You do have choices.

Get yourself into a women's shelter if you have to; file for an order of protection, get legal assistance and counselling in how to manage your life. What other choice do you have. If he is making threats- even 'suggesting' men kill their wives etc. and has been physically abusive as you've said, you can get a restraining order to protect yourself.

But first and foremost is your safety, and the safety of your children. All the questions you have about money can easily be answered by an attorney.

[JudyKayTee]

My colleague, "Jake," handled the personal issues very well.

I have not looked at Oregon law but it's pretty similar in the various States.

A wife cannot sue her husband for wages. The legal system will probably tell you that if you don't want to work for him, don't work for him OR that you agreed to work in exchange for health insurance for you and your children from a previous relationship. If you are not paid a salary he does not need to file anything with Social Security, IRS, any other taxing agency. You COULD make a legal argument that the health insurance was in lieu of wages... and then you could pay taxes on that money if you win. I doubt it's worth the legal fees and taxes.

He cannot legally throw an underage child out in the streets or out of the house or whatever else he's planning. It's child abuse, and he would be arrested.

If everything is in his name it all belongs to him unless/until you file for divorce and the legal system sorts out the assets and makes (or doesn't make) an award in your favor. No, he can't make you move out of the marital home unless/until he gets an Attorney and an Order that you leave. He controls what is in his name - cars, bank accounts, whatever else. Yes, he can "take" the car from you. It's his.

He can claim whatever he wants to claim, that he's old and frail and you are abusing him BUT the "old and frail" argument is going to fail because he apparently is young and strong enough to run a business. He can accuse you of anything he wishes - he also has to have proof, just like you have to have proof. Threatening you, telling you about other husbands who have killed other wives, that's emotional abuse and you don't have to put up with it. He's threatening to have you arrested because (I think) you used business credit cards to buy personal items? No one is going to believe him (in the first place), and he can accuse all he wants.

He FORCED you to remodel a house? He injured your knee by jumping on it?

First, he's a bully. Maybe he'll file Police Reports, maybe he won't. Will the "charges" stick? I doubt it. I cannot believe that a man this controlling won't be very transparent to the Court.

I have to ask - how did you meet him? Where is the father of your daughter?

He can say whatever he wants about what you "owe" him. You are his legal wife so that entire "owe" part is ridiculous.

You need to get out before he hurts or kills you. You need to see an Attorney and follow "Jake's" advice. I know it's hard. I know you're afraid BUT he if kills or seriously injures you, what will happen to your daughter? Think about that.

[twinkiedooter]

Consult with a good family law attorney. Have him file divorce paperwork with the court and have a hearing held for Temporary Relief for you (financially) and Support for the children. Being that rich he will be court ordered to pay your attorney's fees AND be forced to pay financial support for you in order for you to move into your own dwelling and have money to purchase food, clothing, etc.
Your attorney could also have the Judge order him to let you have the use of one of his cars as well.

Consult with an attorney as soon as you can and get out of this slavery situation before he really injures you or your child.