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statesgirl · Jul 3, 2011, 09:06 AM

Hi everyone.
I assume this post is going to get a lot of negative feedback considering this is a relationship section. Hear me out first though. Also avoid the "your a slut" posts because its my sex life not yours.

Okay I met this guy last summer, we spend all summer together. He even asked me to be exclusive with him! :D But at the end of it I found out he was cheating, so I broke it off. I hadn't seen him for one year until last week. I was at the mall shopping and saw him. WOW he looked hot! We had small talk for awhile then I had to leave.

I'm really lonely right now. I'm thinking about messaging him and asking to be friends again. ( He actually asked me to be friends after the breakup). I just want a friend with benefits and I know he's an unfaithful guy so I wouldn't want a relationship obviously.

I've tried to be friends with benefits with guys before but I've always secretly wanted a relationship too, but with him I don't! Also he told me he's moving across seas in the fall.

I'm hoping anyone could give some feedback? I think this could be fun. I know I don't want a relationshop, he doesn't either, he's moving in a few months. Perfect for a summer fling? No?

Thanks everyone! XOXO

amicon · Jul 3, 2011, 09:50 AM

'I'm really lonely right now'-that tells me you wouldn't benefit from a relationship which is FWB.

Why not actively start getting to know new people and take it from there?

statesgirl · Jul 3, 2011, 09:53 AM

I meant lonely sexually. I meet new people all the time but I just don't see them as boyfriend material.

amicon · Jul 3, 2011, 09:54 AM

I still wouldn't walk down memory lane with an ex-one that cheated at that.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 3, 2011, 10:41 AM

Then why not just have sex at random with the new people you meet. You are wanting a relationship not sex with no commitment, you want the old boyfriend back and what you used to have. If you just want sex with no commitment why do you want a boyfriend, that is not what friends with benefits are.

excon · Jul 3, 2011, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by statesgirl

I just want a friend with benefits and I know hes an unfaithful guy so I wouldn't want a relationship obviously.

Hello girl:

I think friends with benefits are just fine... Wish I had one... Anyway, I think it's very hard for girls to have them because they get involved. It's easier for guys. But, if you can, go for it.

excon

Cat1864 · Jul 3, 2011, 01:05 PM

Is he currently in a relationship? If so, then leave him alone.

I am going to be honest and say that I don't think it would be as fun and without repercussions as you seem to think it would be.

Have you really thought about you want and expect in the proprosed relationship? Do you want to be his friend or his sometimes sex partner? Do you expect to meet for sex only or do you expect to go out and have fun outside the bedroom with him? If you expect to go out, why not call it 'dating' in the true sense of the word?

Have you thought about the possibility of life changing events such as disease or pregnancy? If he has a tendency to sleep around, has he been tested for possible infections?

I think if you aren't extremely careful old memories and emotions are going to rear up and bite you because you are so sure those feeling are dead and buried.

Only you know what you can handle emotionally.

Good luck with the choice you make.

talaniman · Jul 3, 2011, 03:23 PM

You are right, its your sex life, but why have sex with someone who has cheated on you before, just because he is hot? How can you even be friends with a person who has betrayed your trust before? You mean there are no other real friends in which to share benefits with?

So you aren't looking for a friend to have benefits with, you want good sex with the guy who betrayed you before, and that's not a very smart thing to do in my opinion, but its your sex life, and you can do your thing, but the message is clear, you don't think very highly of yourself, sleeping with the enemy, just to scratch an itch, and letting him know you are okay with what he did to you.

You may not be able to help yourself as far as being horny, but the way you handle yourself is totally in your control, and sleeping with a guy who has done you wrong would make you a slut by anyone's definition. Just ask the ex who cheated, he treated you like a slut before didn't he? He will again if you allow it.

Yes its your sex life, and you can be a slut if you want to.