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whatsthestory · Jul 2, 2011, 09:58 AM

I have fallen for a girl I have met at work recently. She is everything I look for in a woman, she is very pretty, sexy, intelligent and ambitous and I want your opinion on what I should do. Her eyes appear to dilate when she looks at me which is quite often (when I glance over she either looks away or stares a moment more and smiles), She asks about my ex girlfriend and tells me that she doesn't see her boyfriend (of 3 months) very often because she would get bored of him. As I like her I do try to accidentally cross paths and at lunch I go over and sit with her which she seems happy with. We sit with our faces about a foot apart looking at one another talking about what we are eating (is it nice?), small chit chat really and I try to ask about things she likes and she asked me if I can cook? What does that mean? I have stepped back and realised that she is only a girl and there are plenty more but I do still like her and would like to get to know her, does she want me to ask her out or is it wrong, I want to take her for dinner, go the theatre, catch a movie and pizza, go to london to see the sights, I want to spend my time with her to get to know her more. Advice please... oh by the way I am 31 and she is 24 (does that matter?)

Wondergirl · Jul 2, 2011, 10:02 AM

As long as she has a boyfriend, she is off-limits to you and, ethically speaking, you cannot ask her out.

whatsthestory · Jul 2, 2011, 10:09 AM

OK I get that, but do you think she likes me? should I wait till she dumps him (well hopefully she will) or am I wasting my time waiting?

Wondergirl · Jul 2, 2011, 10:28 AM

Originally Posted by whatsthestory

ok I get that, but do you think she likes me?, should I wait till she dumps him (well hopefully she will) or am i wasting my time waiting?

How long are you willing to wait? Isn't that rather silly? It could be another two years before she decides she doesn't want her boyfriend in her life. My advice is to date, get yourself out there.

whatsthestory · Jul 2, 2011, 10:40 AM

It could also be 2 weeks before that happens so in case of that eventuallity do you think from what I have described there is anything between us or is it more me wishful thinking and twisting things in my favour through want?

Wondergirl · Jul 2, 2011, 11:08 AM

Originally Posted by whatsthestory

it could also be 2 weeks before that happens so incase of that eventuallity do you think from what I have described there is anything between us or is it more me wishful thinking and twisting things in my favour through want??

Should we take bets on when she will dump her boyfriend? And then do you want to be a rebound?

I think it is wishful thinking on your part. Also, it's bad form to date a coworker.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 2, 2011, 11:23 AM

She sounds bored and you may be the new adventure of the day.

The next problem and issue is that you work together, so after about 4 months if you break up can you keep having to work together, how will that work

whatsthestory · Jul 2, 2011, 11:57 AM

My job involves working within various departments and offices around the country and am not always based at one specific place like she is, so in my opinion that would not be an issue but is it still unprofessional for me to get involved?

Wondergirl · Jul 2, 2011, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by whatsthestory

is it still unprofessional for me to get involved?

Yes.

talaniman · Jul 2, 2011, 04:18 PM

Waiting for a chick to dump her boyfriend is a waste of time for any single guy, and distracts you from real options and opportunities for healthy adult relationships, with other single people.

That's why she has already told you she already has a boyfriend, so you keep your respectful distance. Get a life, before you get carried away and cross the lines of good behavior and lose your dignity, and self respect.

Think about it, you want to know if a co worker, with a boyfriend likes you! How dumb is that?? If you have to ask strangers on the net if someone likes you, then you aren't paying attention are you? If she does what are you going to do about it? Ask her out to see if she will cheat? Be the other guy, what?

Leave her alone and get your own girl why don't you? Its not only unprofessional, its pretty dumb and very naïve to even mess with a female with a boyfriend where you work.

whatsthestory · Jul 12, 2011, 12:29 PM

Hello

I was just wondering if someone would give me their opinion on whether I have ruined my chances with a girl I like. I have been getting on really well with her recently and have been exchanging several MSG on Facebook. I asked her what she was doing at the weekend and she told me then said "I'll speak to you later I'm going to the gym now"...

1. does that mean she isn't interested and just wanted to get rid of me

And
2. straight after that MSG I said "MSG me later if you fancy a chat, it would be nice to get to know you better, people like you only come round once in a lifetime"

So by saying this have I ruined my chances do you think?

Tubesox · Jul 12, 2011, 01:22 PM

I don't think that she wanted to get rid of you, she probably genuinely was going to the gym but as a girl myself, I think by you saying that is coming on a little bit too strong and girls don't usually like that kind of a thing.

I think that you should just leave it now, don't seem too pushy or you'll push her away.

If she's interested shell message you when she wants to, until then just relax and keep your distance :)

talaniman · Jul 12, 2011, 02:56 PM

I find it amazing, and dishonest to post another thread but leaving out the fact she has a boyfriend. Okay, maybe its me that's wrong, and this is a different female, but I doubt it, so correct me if I am wrong.