[Daisy996]

Okay hi my name is kim and I'm 14. This whole thing won't be written that well but I still hope you read! Okay so one night at like midnight I was laying down watching TV n I was the only one awake. Then all of a sudden a hear a loud beep and so I go to see what it was. I found a phone under these papers. Apparently the phone was done charging so it beeped. Well I had never seen this phone before and I knew it was no ones in my familys either so I started going through it because I'm kind of snoopy. But anyway I starting reading these messages from this one person I don't know who. But the inbox only had messages from that person. So as I'm reading them there was a few picture messages and one had a picture of these shoes on a log and it said something about how this reminded her of him somehow. Well the tennis shoes I had seen before they were my moms. And then there was a picture of some woman's feet and it again said this reminded me of when blah blah. And I thought it was my moms feet so I went and looked at my moms feet then and compared them it they were the same. Okay so then these people were calling each other sweetheart and stuff like that and then the woman who had been textin on the phone I had which I think is my mom she started saying some love song lyrics to him and I knew those song lyrics. They were lyrics from my moms favorite songs that she made us listen to every time we went anywhere. So by then I was freakin out.so my mom is a teacher at my school and lately she had been going to school really early in the mornin like at 7 n school wasn't until 8. well I thought about it and I figured the reason she would go in early was to talk to the person she was textin on the phone.(it had also said in the messages that it was great getting to talk to u. it said that a lot so which meant the must have talked a lot) well the next mornin after I had read all those messages she was going in early again. When she left I decided to go look under those papers for that phone well the phone was gone. So that same day I walked over from the high school to the elementary which is where she works. And I saw that phone charging and this was after school. And I said moms whose phone is that and she said tyler this kid and my class its his phone and he's selling it. And I said well why do you have it then and she said kim stop asking questions lets juss go so I said okay I'm going out to the car. So the next day me and my little sister went to the gym which is by our elementary school. And about after an hour I called her and told her we were walking over to open the door for us so she said okay bye. So anyway we get there and she was down by the bathrooms and I could hear she was on the phone. As we walked in she yelled at us and said ill be down there in a little while I juss have to go to the bathroom and we said okay. So me and rachel my little sister go into her classroom. When I walked in there I looked for where that phone was and it was gone so I told rachel to tell mom that I was going to the computer lab but I really wasn't. Instead I snuck down there to listen to hers and whoevers conversation. They were talking about some stuff and then I heard my mom say well I have to go so rachel or kim don't come looking for me and then I heard he say I love you too. So I went and hid in a classroom. After that I called my older sister and I told her to come get me so she did. Anyway so juss a couple days ago me and my mom were talking about one of my friends. Their mom and dad were splittin up and all of a sudden she said kim what would you do or think if me and your dad split up. And I said ummm I don't know. I was trying to act like I didn't know anything. But then she said kim if anyone ever treats you like your dad treats me I would take a baseball bat to them. Kind of jokin. But anyway before you think my dad is a horrible person. He is a great dad he's rough on us like he gets mad at the kids all the time but he's still great. And he's really hard working he works everyday. He raises turkeys and it's a hard job. And when my mom had cancer about 22 years ago he stuck by her everyday. So all in all my dad is great you juss have to know him and oh he always gets my mom flowers for special occasions I mean he could be a better husband but I think he's awesome. So my questions are what should I do? Should I tell anyone? Should I try to find out more? Oh and I had saved that number that my mom was textin into my drafts onto my phone well somehow it got erased and I'm pretty sure it was my mom. Im juss wondering what should I do about this whole situation? I've thought about hirin an investigator to follow my mom and look at phone records and find out who that person is but I don't have any money because I'm only 14 no job. But I'm really trying to figure more out on my own. So *** tell me what I should do and I'm srry this is so long but thank you for reading it and helping me!
Kim

[Enigma1999]

Kim,

It's really hard to say if your Mother is cheating on your Father.

Has her behavior with your Father changed that you know of?

Has her behavior with you and your sisters changed?

I guess my question is, why would she charge the phone where anyone, such as yourself could pick it up at any time?

How long ago did you find the phone?

[Daisy996]

No her behavior hasn't changed with my dad hasn't really change but she's been getting really mad at everyone lately and I don't know why.and I don't know why she charges it in the open and I found it like 3 weeks ago maybe.

[Wondergirl]

What did your mom mean when she told you, "if anyone ever treats u like ur dad treats me i would take a baseball bat to them"?

[J_9]

What did your mom mean when she told you, "if anyone ever treats u like ur dad treats me i would take a baseball bat to them"?

That's really not hard to understand.

Basically the mother means that she doesn't want a man to treat her daughter the way that the mother is treated.

[Wondergirl]

That's really not hard to understand.

Basically the mother means that she doesn't want a man to treat her daughter the way that the mother is treated.

Yes. But I wanted some details on what that means -- if the OP has any idea. Since the mom said it to Kim, there may be a backstory that would help us work through this.

[J_9]

In my opinion, the OP is 14 years old. This is out of her league. No matter how bad it hurts, this is an adult problem that needs to be worked out by the adults.

[Wondergirl]

IMHO, the OP is 14 years old. This is out of her league. No matter how bad it hurts, this is an adult problem that needs to be worked out by the adults.

I agree. But the mom did tell the daughter that directly (Kim didn't overhear it), so I wondered if it had some bearing on the mother's problems and Kim's concern.

[JudyKayTee]

ive thought bout hirin an investigator to follow my mom n look at phone records n find out who that person is but i dont have any money because im only 14 no job. but im rlly tryin to figure more out on my own. so *** tell me wat i should do n im srry this is so long but thank you for readin it n helpin me!!
Kim

Kim, I am an investigator. That's how I earn my living. I can tell you're hurting. This type of thing hurts at ANY age. I've seen hurting children, hurting wives, hurting husbands, hurting boyfriends and girlfriends. It's like watching a train wreck - it changes your life, you can't look away... and you can't stop it!

My experience has been that people believe what they want to believe. People can convince themselves that anything is true, despite seeing evidence and proof to the contrary. If one person doesn't want to believe the other person is cheating, nothing is going to change that person's mind.

When I work an assignment I know several things: The party who hired me is going to be upset either way. If the party is NOT cheating and the person who hired me thinks he/she is, the person who did the hiring will be angry with me for not doing "my job." Proof that the person is NOT cheating proves nothing to that person.

If the person IS cheating the person who hired me is often angry with me because I'm the person who found the proof.

With this in mind - this is an adult problem, to be worked out by adults. I think if there is another adult you can talk to it would be a good idea. If nothing else, YOU would get peace of mind. I'm not saying this in a "cause a problem, blow a whistle" sense but to help YOU deal with what is going on.

And for the record - every husband and/or wife could be a better husband and/or wife at some point in time. People make mistakes, people could be more sensitive, whatever the problem is. I am not referring to the cheating (if cheating is going on). I'm referring to your Dad being a good husband.

Do you understand what I'm telling you?

[Jake2008]

Had to spread the rep Judy, but that was such an excellent answer.