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    aoto1's Avatar
    aoto1 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 30, 2011, 08:26 AM
    Friends after breakup OK?
    Hi everyone! This is my first post so as you can tell I broke up and as I tried to cope with what happened I searched the Internet crazily about breakups and ended up here. My girlfriend of 3.5 years just broke up with me because her some events in parents marriage as well as my family's divorce has made her feel a bit insecure about our relationship. She also feels responsible that my life has ended up how it is because of her(not going to college of choice ect). She believes since I have not had an actual girlfriend in the past that I do not know what a good girlfriend is, and that I need time to find out. She has been my best friend these past years and I respect her many reasons for this. And she does not want to feel me to feel like I am stuck in a relationship regretting it years later (or maybe she is talking about herself). She specifically told me that she wanted to do this because never giving it up is part of my character and because of this I would never be able to meet anyone better than her, which she obviously believes. Yet I find it hard to remember what life was like before her and am trying to cope with the loneliness without her. I am sure you have all read this a million times but I really thought she was the one. As I have read the popular or correct way to deal with a relationship is to do No Contact. But I find it hard because she tends to be a bit manic depressive so somedays she is very gloomy/depressive but other days she is really friendly and fun. This is especially hard for me now because I am a bit confused as to whether I should hang out with her or totally ignore her. I also do not know whether continuing being friends in an acceptable thing to do; as we have been best friends for these 3.5 years. She has also told me that if I find that I still love after I have dated some other people that she may be willing to start our relationship again. What should I do? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
    miss_a90's Avatar
    miss_a90 Posts: 32, Reputation: 8
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    #2

    Jul 3, 2011, 07:02 AM
    Personally I have always found it hard to stay friends after a relationship even if he was my best friend when we were together, because you will always be reminded of that love you had. It can sometimes work if the relationship came to a natural end that you both agreed on, but if one person ended the relationship and the other person was still in love, it doesn't work because you will be hurt if she starts moving and talking about other guys, and you don't want her to never be able to move on for fear of hurting you. I think the best thing to do is get some distance. Find other things in your life that you're passionate about, take some time to figure out what you want in your life and have some fun. Once you're over her, then you can think about being friends again.

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