[Babyduck999]

Hello. I am 24 and my boyfriend is 34. He went through a nasty divorce three years ago with a woman who lied to him and ran off with another man. I have been dating my other half for two years now but in the beginning of the relationship was a disaster. I wanted to have kids later on in time but he told me he did not and told me to go find someone who did. That left me heartbroken and sick inside... During that time I started talking to my ex and told him maybe we could work things out... but after realizing what mistake I was making I stopped all conact with him and waited until my boyfriend talked to me again which took a while... Come to find out two years later, my boyfriend went on my Facebook and found the letter I sent my ex two years ago saying I wanted him back... MY boyfriend blew up in my face and said I lied to him and told me to get out of his house because I lied to him... How did I lie? That was something two years ago and I cut off all contact with my ex... I have been devoted to him, his kids, and family? Why is he acting this way... I understand he has trust issues, but this was two years ago. Can someone please explain what is going through his head?

[talaniman]

You had two years to unpack your baggage, and he didn't know about it then, so this is fresh to him, and not to you.

I imagine he sees this omission, as unintentional as it may be, as the same as his ex. Going to another guy behind his back, and never explaining it at the time. Is he over reacting? Possibly, but not from his stand point. I think your only resolution is to wait until he cools off, and see if he is willing to talk.

That doesn't mean though, ignoring what he is capable of when he is upset, rightfully, or wrongfully, because the red flag that I see now is his impulsive action, as opposed to being willing to talk it out, and get facts.

How you handle that is what's important, now that you know. Did you discuss this thing with your ex, with him, at the time? Did he know you even considered it, two years ago?

That may have been the heart of the problem, if you did NOT.

[HurtScorpio]

Well, you did not lie but you did hurt him badly by returning to a relationship that was supposed to have ended already and obviously he now is going to have trust issues with you regarding that person. You are both to blame. He sent you away and you went away... back to your ex instead of moving on. But, at the same time, when he told you to leave, it really technically is none of his business what you decided to do once he told you to leave. I think he just needs time to deall with the issue at hand. He is hurt and probably felt when you got back together that you should have told him then so try to be sympathetic but remind him that he did also hurt you by breaking up the relationship over you wanting kids. You both need to discuss it calmly and neither of you were angels in this situation.

[Bittertruth]

Why didn't you delete it in 2 years? That was the mistake you made.