[puty111]

I need a question answered but first I will try to tell you the history I have been with a girl now for 1.5 years she is great and we get along so well. However there is one issue that I can't resolve and it will break us up! I have been in two marriages and have three boys. Two boys from the first marriage and one from the second. I have a good relationships with my second ex. Of about 10 years which we are finally divorcing. We lived separate lives in different homes just didn't divorce till now. My first two boys are still friends with my second wife they have known her for about 17 years now. The oldest boys moved out here to be with there dad and are on there own now but still remained friends with my second wife.

Since I met my girlfriend she thought that the relationship between my boys and my second ex was different. The problem I am having is that my girlfriend will not go to any event that my second ex is attending. I have tried to keep the two worlds separate for this long now and said to my girlfriend that she doesn't have to go to any event that my second ex is attending.

This worked for a while but however my second son is now going to have a baby and of course want my girlfriend to attend and my son has invited my second ex to be there. To say the least this very angry and she said she would not be going to the baby shower if my ex was there. Everyone was OK with it but I feel that she should be there because of my son and because she is with me.

I didn't say too much and just left it alone hoping she would change her mind. Well on weekend we had a BBQ and all my kids were there we all were having a good time. Then all of a sudden it party was over and my girlfriend was pissed off and went into the house and to bed. This happened because the question was brought up her about marriage of my son and his girlfriend and my girlfriend got pissed of and questioned way would you invite my second ex to the wedding when she has nothing to do with you.

I have since broken it off with my girlfriend. My thought was that I think she should be able to deal with the fact that my second ex is part of all my boys life and will be around forever. I had to choose a side to stand on and I choose my boys. I don.t understand and still wonder why my girlfriend can't accept this.

So can anyone give me some feed back on this issue. I would still like to get my girlfriend back and have both worlds I am in work. I don't know how or even if I want o anymore because there will always be something that my ex will be at.

So any help would be great

Thanks

[talaniman]

She may be the jealous type or, just doesn't want you jumping back and forth between wives... I mean lives, and wants a life herself with you without your exes.

You tried to keep them separate, but could not. It could only go so far with the girlfriend, so she made a choice just like you did, and left. I doubt she changes, and at least you didn't get married, or have kids.

What worked for you obviously didn't work for her.

[HurtScorpio]

I think the issue here is that your girlfriend was offended and maybe felt that since you still have a good relationship w/the mother of the boys that there may be a possibility that you may retorch the flame especially considering you have children. It is understandable to choose your children but I can see how,as a jealous person myself, she may be intimidated of the ex's. The only thing that may help if you want her back is to make it clear to her that those ex's are no longer desirable to you sexually, that the relationships with them would never work, and to boost her self esteem perhaps by saying you must speak to the ex's because of the children and compliment how desirable she is to you as opposed to the ex's. If not,you have lost her because she is not secure enough to handle all of the drama and sounds like she also needs some time with just you and her as a couple. Hope this helps and good luck to you.