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Klaipeda · Jun 25, 2011, 11:43 AM

Hi
What do you guys thing, if I met a man do I have to be careful what to say to him, try to be my best, talk nicely etc?
I am asking this because I am being myself with the man I like and I talk on the phone really freely. He is with the high education and even higher so I think I have to choose what I say to him, but I just automatically behave in old way- I joke, I am confident, I talk like with the best friend with him-I don't hesitate- I ask him questions about him, his family, I joke, I feel free to talk. After we finished talking on the phone ( we haven't met yet, but talk on the phone), I start thinking that I looked like trashy lady letting myself to feel free. I think I have to act ladylike, be calm and try to act sexy etc, but I just being playful, jokingly talking, asking him lot of questions..

What do you think?
Thank you all

Wondergirl · Jun 25, 2011, 11:59 AM

Be yourself. Living and acting a lie never works.

talaniman · Jun 25, 2011, 02:02 PM

Just be you, if he can't handle it, too bad, there are plenty who would love to try, right?

Klaipeda · Jun 25, 2011, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Just be you, if he can't handle it, too bad, there are plenty who would love to try, right?

No there's no plenty, that is why I am thinking of keeping at least this one.
But I am so tired of constantly having inner talks blaming myself 'oh I should not said that and that to him' (For example he invites me to his house but I have not seen him yet. So I say" no, to your house I will not go, and what will happen if I come? Oh I know-there is a nice and big bed there... :)
I think because of this my talkativeness and joking,sometimes light teasing I am the last woman on earth any men would date me. (apart from this I am also sensitive and empathic).
What do you really think, honestly please? :confused:

Wondergirl · Jun 25, 2011, 02:23 PM

Meet halfway for lunch in a public place. Certainly don't go to his house the first time you meet in person!

You are too worried about what impression you are making on him. If he is still talking with you, it doesn't sound like he's unhappy. I'm worried about you, that you are too eager for a relationship and will put yourself in jeopardy and end up being emotionally or even physically harmed.

talaniman · Jun 25, 2011, 03:04 PM

I think you take a lot of caution with a stranger you haven't even met. Don't get carried away just because you MIGHT meet, and date.

Why haven't you met??

Klaipeda · Jun 25, 2011, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I think you take a lot of caution with a stranger you haven't even met. Don't get carried away just because you MIGHT meet, and date.

Why haven't you met???

Because he does not invite me for a proper date: he offers us to meet up when he is in my city for business purpose (we don't live in the same city, he lives in outskirts, and he says he is busy most of the time so we cannot arrange proper date.

Wondergirl · Jun 25, 2011, 03:48 PM

Originally Posted by Klaipeda

because he does not invite me for a proper date

What does this mean? What is a "proper date"?

he offers us to meet up when he is in my city for business purpose

So meet him for lunch in a nice restaurant.

talaniman · Jun 25, 2011, 04:02 PM

If he has no time to ask for a proper date, why do you waste time for this flirting? A man who is interested, makes time. What do you know about this fellow? How did you meet?

Homegirl 50 · Jun 27, 2011, 05:34 PM

If he does not have time to meet you for a date but can invite you to his house, he has an agenda.
The first time you meet him should be in a public place. He should ask you out on a proper date. If he can't do that, stop wasting your time.

Alty · Jun 27, 2011, 05:40 PM

If you can't be who you are, then who cares if this is the only guy that's interested?

Doesn't seem that he's that interested anyway, since he's been in your town but refuses to see you.

Don't waste your time on this guy. Meet someone real, and never be something you aren't to please anyone!

Klaipeda · Jul 5, 2011, 02:07 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

If he has no time to ask for a proper date, why do you waste time for this flirting? A man who is interested, makes time. What do you know about this fellow? How did you meet?

Yes Talaniman you 100% right!

Well he is a professor in uni and because of this he thinks he has a right to choose when our meet should happen and where. To me it seem too authoritarian..

talaniman · Jul 5, 2011, 04:28 PM

And you go along with the program... why??

Klaipeda · Jul 10, 2011, 02:24 AM

I finished with him ( he called many times over the two days, I did not pick up, so I think he got the message that I am not interested).
Thanks to you all guys for helping me to clear this situation up!