[Bold_ink]

I don't know why but I with out even trying can just turn all connection to anyone off. I have been with the same guy for 4 years. We live 2 hours away but it works out great for me due to the fact I love my space. Just recently my mother made the comment to me that it is not normal the way I can just turn myself off in a relationship. She says that I do this with all the relationships I am in including mine and hers.

For example this weekend my boyfriend came down to celibate my birthday he got a hotel and went all out. Fancy dinner, relaxing in the hot tub, he even took my to the salon and had me pampered. We had not seen each other in 3 months. On Sunday night he dropped my off at my apartment kissed me good bye and I have not spoken with him scene. Other than to text him to say I love you too Monday morning at about 7 am before work.

I have started looking at other relationships of mine and my best friend and I have this same kind of relationship we go months with out talking and then out of the blue call each other hang out, then don't talk for months again.

I had not noticed this until Mom said something and now I AM WORRIED THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!

Should close connections come and go like this?
Is this a real problem?
What can I do to try to stop the disconnections I have in my life?

[talaniman]

If its not a problem, don't worry. One persons concerns are another's persons method of coping with the reality of their life.

Do your own thing YOUR way, and not be concerned with the concerns of others. Your moms intentions are good I think, but maybe her METHODS are not. Maybe it's she that needs more attention from you. I don't know, but do YOU see this as a problem?

[Wondergirl]

I'm guessing you are also very practical and have tons of common sense and are nobody's fool. It sounds like you are able to emotionally detach. It will help you in the future, especially if you work in the medical or or social services or counseling field. Being detached doesn't mean you aren't empathetic or sympathetic, but does mean that you won't dissolve into a puddle of tears when you need to be strong or rational.

I'm like you and give a lot of the credit to my German heritage.

[artichoke]

I don't necessarily think this is abnormal. I don't really think you should worry about it either.

If you had never noticed and it has always been the norm for you then I say you shouldn't change a thing unless you feel like you may want to.

If however, it is affecting the people in your life (and not just your mum, because mums are always too clingy) then maybe you should make just a little more time for those people. I mean it wouldn't hurt doing so anyway really!

If you honestly feel like you might have a problem though, spend a little more time with the people who are important in your life, like I said and see how that goes. If it all feels weird and over whelming and makes you uncomfortable, you should maybe think about talking to a counsellor about it.