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nikitalynne · Jun 18, 2011, 02:46 AM

Okay, to start this off I would just like to inform you that my boyfriend had to move to a different state for two years. It has already been a year.

Naturally, we do have phone sex together. And when were finish he's usually like oh well I'm going to go to sleep; but I notice that he doesn't. It seems that he actually continues to masturbate, I know this cause I can hear it. We don't have phone sex everyday, but we do do it about... at least 3 or 4 times a week, sometimes it is everyday! But I do know for a fact; phone sex or not, that he does masturbate every single night continually.

Now, let me just say this does not bother me. I am just curious about it is all. I would like to hear peoples options about it.

P.S I am 19, he is 20.

88sunflower · Jun 18, 2011, 03:04 AM

If he goes to sleep how can you hear it? Do you keep the phones off the hook?
He is a 20 year old male away from his girl and your having phone sex. Let him have at it. Your not there with him so this is his way of release. Better then going out to find it wouldn't you say? Every day is probably normal. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised at the number of men who do it every day. If after he moves home and its still every night while he can have you I might question that.

nikitalynne · Jun 18, 2011, 03:12 AM

Yes, we fall asleep on the phone together. And I can tell from his breathing and little noises in the background that he's masturbating. I am defiantly not complaining about the matter, Im just curious is all. And I know for sure that one he moves back he won't masturbate every night, because he knows he can have me. That has not been a problem.

nikitalynne · Jun 18, 2011, 03:14 AM

Yes, we fall asleep on the phone together. And I can tell from his breathing and little noises in the background that he's masturbating. I am defiantly not complaining about the matter, Im just curious is all. And I know for sure that one he moves back he won't masturbate every night, because he knows he can have me. That has not been a problem.

nikitalynne · Jun 18, 2011, 03:16 AM

Didn't mean to post this here.

88sunflower · Jun 18, 2011, 03:20 AM

Well personally unless it bothers you then I think its fine he does what he does.

nikitalynne · Jun 18, 2011, 03:26 AM

No it doesn't realllly bother me, but I just wanted to hear peoples options about it.

adviceishere · Jun 18, 2011, 08:19 AM

You say he won't do it as much when he's home? My partner is 25 and he does it daily, sometimes even twice a day and he still has me. I find it quite a turn on to be honest, the fact I can turn him on like that, he says he thinks of me when doing it and I choose to believe him :rolleyes:

Enigma1999 · Jun 18, 2011, 02:51 PM

I guess I don't quite understand the question here, and I'm a smart cookie. ;)

You say that this doesn't bother you, and that you are only curious?

Let me break this down for you...

He is a 20 year old guy. Wait, no, he IS a guy! Age really dosen't matter in this case. He is miles away from you. He obviously is NOT going to another lover to satisfy his needs. Your voice is turning him on.

Look, I'm a female, and "I" masturbate every night. Why? Because it feels great! It releases stress. Helps me calm down. Hell, even if my lover gets me off with his tongue, I still get myself off.

Again, you're not complaining... But when he does move back and continues to masturbate, will this bother you then?

Cat1864 · Jun 19, 2011, 04:54 PM

I think you both need to hang up and do your own things.

I also think you need to talk to him about what you think you are hearing.

1. You may be misunderstanding what you are hearing. If you think he is masturbating when he isn't, it doesn't bode well for your future of living together. Many problems seem to occur when one partner thinks the other one is getting self-pleasure in place of mutual pleasure.

2. He may not know you can hear him if he is masturbating. He may think you have gone to sleep or that he is far enough away from the phone/quiet enough to think he won't be heard.

3. He may be an exhibitionist and is getting off on thinking about you listening to him. Nothing wrong with that as long you are a consenting partner instead of an unknowing audience. By consenting, I mean that you tell him that you agree to participate (yes, you are participating as a voyeur by listening.)

Number 3 is the scenario that bothers me most because partners should be able to talk about what they need instead of sneaking it into the relationship or 'surprising' their partner with it. Masturbation by itself isn't an issue that should need to be discussed. However, your voyeurism and his apparent exhibitionism do need to be talked about before they affect other sexual practices and tendencies or parts of your relationship. Do you have fantasies of other people listening to you have sex or video tape yourselves in bed? He may. That's why it needs to be discussed now.

Hopefully, it is one and/or two.

Communicate with him. Find out from him what he thinks.