[onlineguy]

I have over the years looked at a few of these written by men as well as women. All of them appear to be guide's to increase a persons confidence to approach the opposite sex... All well and good.

But almost all of them state that a women is looking for a guy with humour and personality and looks are not that important. This would lead a guy to concentrate on those and have the confidence to approach an attractive women, thinking he could display these qualities and get the girl!

However, in reality women are just like men and we are attracted to attractive people, (each with our own unique tastes). So if a generally unattractive guy tries for an attractive girl, she will like his humour and personality but not be attracted to him because she does not find him attractive. So will see him as a friend !

If someone finds someone attractive and likes their personality they will want to date them.
If someone does not find someone attractive but likes their personality they will see them as a friend.
If someone does not find someone attractive and does not like their personality they will be closed of to them.

So these self help guides are flawed as they miss out a major component of attracting the opposite sex. Physical attraction !

What's your thoughts on this guys ?

[Stringer]

I tend to agree with you.

The first thing that attracts someone is hardwired into us I believe. And that is obviously the physical attraction. If this initial attraction is there then the 'other' so called attractions become important. The initial attraction opens the door so to speak, and then the others take a bit longer to decide upon.

For example, I believe that the reason an 'official' engagement developed is to 'test' the other virtues for compatibility.

However, no 'test' is going to happen under most conditions if the initial physical attraction isn't there.

The only exception that I can visualize is where conditions exist where the two get to know each other via other conditions. Such as working together, belonging to a social group, sports, school settings, etc. But I still believe that at some level the physical attraction has to be there.

There have been studies about what attracts a woman to a man. Some of the results were things that are not at first apparent; potential, health, strength, intelligence, etc. But also was the driven fact of reproduction which include the prior items but included appearance/looks.

Stringer

[Fr_Chuck]

I love Walmart, I can set there and learn so much from life. And of course the web site people of walmart and a sister site called "who is settling". One merely has to sit outside walmart for a hour or so, and you will see that couples can not be based on looks in many cases

If people only dated or was in a relationship based on looks, ugly people who always be alone or at worst be stuck with each other since they could not get anyone else.

But in many ways, at least to "date" it is many times a matter of asking enough people, or getting to know them well. Then after you know someone and are that friends, looks mean little. Next looks is not important to many, but looks are more important to others.

Being a heavy set old man with a bad eye and a limp, ( not a real fetish desire for many) but I when I started dating after the death of my wife, never had a problem have one or more dates over the weekends, why, I asked out a lot of people. And after getting to know a wonderful lady, found a great women, who happened to be a ex college cheer leader.

But if a person is looking for a mate, perhaps a husband and wife, things like income, job and religion can mean more often than looks also

[tickle]

Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, chuck. I often wonder, after people watching, which is a good past time and you can really learn a lot, when I see a completely dazzling woman with a short ugly balding man and they are holding hands, looking at each other like they are the only people on the planet.

Tick

[NeedKarma]

How to get the girl, self help guide's

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/person...ded-47021.html

Love 'em all!! Yourself first.