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    emilygeorge35's Avatar
    emilygeorge35 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 16, 2011, 10:42 AM
    I am engaged, wedding is in November, family is putting great strian on us.
    Hello,
    So I am 22 and my fiancé and I are both very devout christians. God is the most important thing in our lives. We have been engaged for 8 months and have not lived together. Recently, my fiancé injured his hand to the point that he needed constant help, so I moved in for a while to help him. During that time we became so much closer to each other and to the Lord, with out having premaritial sex. I returned home last night only to be met by once again, hate, disdian, resentment, and disrespect from my family. I do not know what to do. I do not want to dissapoint my family by miving in permanently with my fiancé, but the only time we fight is over my family!! I can't take much more, yet I still want to respect my family. I have considered moving up the wedding, as we still have 5 months to go, but I'm sure that since my parents are paying for the wedding that will not go over well. Help!
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Jun 16, 2011, 11:47 AM

    I'm not sure why you and your fiancé are fighting.

    As long as you live under your parents' roof and they are paying for your wedding, it's their call.

    Why do you need a big wedding? He loves you, you love him, you want to get married. Just do it.

    Pay for your own party when he's healed.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Jun 16, 2011, 07:13 PM

    Yes, a small private wedding with your pastor, save the money, they can use it to help you latter if needed

    One of the biggest wastes to a new couple is a large wedding when they don't have enough money getting started
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #4

    Jun 17, 2011, 03:49 AM
    When a child reaches adulthood and gets ready to be on her own, she needs to be able to look her parents in the eye and tell them that she loves them but has her own values now, and must do what she thinks is right. Plus they don't deserve the same amount of respect for making assumptions about the time you lived with your fiancé. I would tell them that you will always love them but have lost some respect for not believing you.
    God didn't invent big expensive weddings, gold rings, or honeymoons. Get married with one witness on a quiet day in your church. You may even find it more spiritual.
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