[needygal]

Hi.. m a hindu girl and I'm in love with a boy who is not of my cast.. v are in relationship from part 3 years now. And I know.. he is the perfect one for me. We understand each other well. Perfect soul mates you can say. But my parents are very orthodox. My boyfriends parents know about us and they have no problem with this. But I didn't tell my parents about my relationship as yet because we both decided that as soon as we get settled in out lives we won't disclose it to them.
But now they are scaring me..
They started searching for a boys from my cast for me since I turned 20.
1. firstly I'm not ready for this "meeting guys n selecting one from them".
2. secondly I'm already in love with someone deeply. Can't live without him.

My parents will never say yes for this relationship. I belong to a small city but I'm living in a metro city of India from 10 years now.. so my mentality, thoughts, dreams are very different from my parents. I can never live with the kind of person they are searching for me ( from my cast and from a small town ). I hope u'll understand my situation.

They want me to meet guys now and I said no for that. Now they are very hurt and are thinking that if I'm saying no den m going to do something wrong one day that will ruin their reputation in society.

I'm very scared. They are only concerned about their reputation in society and my big extended family.

There is no one in my family who will help me with this. There was no love marriage till date in my family. What do I do?
Please people who have been in such a situation and were able to convince their parents please share your experiences. Cause I can't live without that person and only he can fulfill my dreams.

Just one last statement : I am a girl and it will be a new life a new beginning for me when I get married leaving all my loved ones behind, I'm a getting chance to live one more life in just one life given by god then why can't they give me permission to live it my own way?

Please help..

[JudyKayTee]

There is nothing anyone can suggest other than talking to your parents and telling them EXACTLY what you've told us.

If you want to discuss the situation with people who have been in your position your best source would be a chat board. This is a question and answer board.

You appear to have two choices - go with your heart, marry this person, defy your family OR follow the wishes of your parents.

Only you know the best path for you to follow.

[BK201]

That is troublesome, I can understand that.
One of my close friend,she is working in a metro city of India, whereas her parents are from a town down south. Love, intercaste marriage - her parents cannot tolerate such things. Recently (2 year ago) they started looking for alliances, but she strongly said, "its not like i dont wanna marry, but give me a year or two, let me settle down in life and then think about marriage". Now she is settled down in a job (25years old now) and her parents are in a position to listen to her because she is earning and has handles many situation.
What I'm trying to say it, don't give any heart attacks, but simply say that you want to study or work/earn and settle in life first. Then later once you gain your life, I'm sure they will listen to you.

[needygal]

Hey thanks BK201 and JudyKayTee m glad you replied..

Thanks for ua advices and thanks BK201 for sharing about your friend.
I asked them to give me at least 2 years time so that I can study further and get some nice job. But they say v are not forcing you for marriage v just want you to select someone and get engaged then you can marry whenever you want. They think I won't get nice groom if I don't start searching for one at the right age.
How can I get engaged to someone. Why don't they understand. They are not even talking to me nicely these days since I said no for a meeting with a guy's family.
I don't want to hurt them.. they are making me week. My boyfriend is hurt too. M stuck and feeling depressed. I keep thinking about this think whole day feeling very low. And helpless. What to do.

[BK201]

Hmmm.. I don't think you can fight back,because of course we can't hurt our parents. But like you said, there is a generation gap which they fail to see, and they can't be blamed for this.
Is there a person like your Uncle, or an elder in your family, to whom your parents would listen to?
If there is someone like that, definitely you can find a work around.

[suvi_swa]

I am also having this same problem:) but my parent know about my love:)thy blackmailing me if you marry we will sucide:)same my boy friend also blackmailing me if you not come I will take wrong decision:)