[sweettpi308]

I have drank for 25 years and lately I was consuming a half gallon of liquor every two days. I decided I wanted to get sober and have not drank in 6 days. I know this is not a long time but for me... it is. I have no support from my husband, who is an ex addict. He has been clean 1 year on the 8th of June and I fully supported him through it even though at times I wanted to leave him. He is mentally, emotionally and has been physically abusive throughout our relationship. I have depression and not on any medication for it at this time. I am having a rough day today, because of the no support. He has asked me to drink this past week a few times and really doesn't understand the pain I am in. The withdrawals are just beginning and I have heard that alcohol withdrawals are the worst. I do not attend any outpatient or AA as of yet. My husband has told me that if I choose inpatient I will be single and homeless when I get out. I think he fears if I become sober that I will leave him, which is probably the truth. I'm not sure what specific question I need answered because my head is very fuzzy right now. I think I am just looking for any type of advice or support on my situation. I feel for anyone that is also going through addiction. Thank you all.

[JudyKayTee]

I'm by no means a expert on this but from what I've seen and read it is almost impossible to get and stay sober alone, particularly when your partner is encouraging you to drink.

You need a support group and you need it now. Outpatient would be great if you can find it.

I think you have to become assertive when it comes to treatment. You need to seek out people/organizations which will help you.

I think the 6 days sober after 25 years is an excellent start. I give you credit, a lot of credit.

You can't do this alone. You are probably correct about your husband's intentions. I think first you have to reach sobriety and then decide what to do after that.

He was not addicted to alcohol?

[sweettpi308]

Thank you for your quick response. No my husband has been addicted to opiates and last year started shooting them without my knowledge until I found the needles and it was too late. We have been married for 10 years this month, together 15. I do need some kind of outside support because I feel like falling off the wagon again, he makes it very difficult to stay sober because of all the fighting and stress. I agree I need to reach sobriety and then make decisions because I cannot think clearly at the moment. It's hard because I have to rely on him for everything right now. I have no job, one part because of the drinking and the second part.. the economy and nothing in this area right now. He has one of the best jobs in the area. Second, I do not have a license and have to rely on him to get around. In between a rock and a hard place. I do welcome any advice. :)

[Emily94]

Since you didn't ask a specific question, I'm just going to tell you my Aunties situation, when I read yours I couldn't get her face out of my mind.

She is 33 years old, has a husband and 4 kids. She wanted to quit drinking but like you had no support, the family kept saying "then just quit", well I knew different, I knew she just couldn't quit on the spot... Her and I talked about it for a couple weeks, what she would do with her life when she got sober, what her kids would think of her when she was sober, the dreams she could accomplish etc etc. She ended up going to detox at a hospital where I live and I came and visited her throughout the whole thing. She drank since she was 16, she'd wake up and have a beer, then her morning coffee. No one thought she could do it so no one made the effort to help her. Well I knew her better than the rest of the family, she is a strong headed women, and I knew she could do it if she put her mind to it. She has been sober now 1 year, 26 days. Her and I celebrated milestones, one day, one week, one month, 3 months, 6 months, and then one year. You can do it, set goals. And when you fail, just start your count over. Try writing in a book the reasons you want to quit (I want to travel the world, I want a good job, etc), and when you feel like drinking look at everything you couldn't do if you were drinking. If you want to leave an abusive relatinship there are people who will help you, they can give you a place to live until you can get back up on your feet. Having stress will just make you want to drink, it gives you a place to escape your problems, a safe place. Find a new safe place, go for a walk, go shopping, take the neighbourhood dogs for a walk, take a cooking course, learn to knit, anything that can get your mind off drinking. My aunty found a place in a field where she lives, it has a stream and a log, and she would go there and just think.. It really helped her. Find one person you can lean on, be it your family, friends, or someone you barely know. Anyone can do anything if they try hard enough, your no exeption. Try and get into a local AA meeting, even if you just sit through a few, but that would be a great place to meet someone to lean on.

I really hoped I helped..

Remember, You CAN do it, it'll be hard, stressful, painful, etc etc, but in the end you will be a stronger women who can think for herself (and not let the alcohol do it for her!)!

[DrBill100]

Some type of support network would certainly help. Social isolation at this stage of cessation will only make your journey more difficult.

At six days since your last drink you should have been through the worst of the withdrawal. The depression you mention is not at all unusual and something that you probably need to allow to follow it's course. That should begin to lift soon.

AA is a good place to start. Easily accessible and puts you amongst others that have shared experience. They can offer the much needed support and guidance you need at this step of your recovery. There are also out-patient detox specialists in many areas. Generally MDs that operate from their private offices. That could help.

A knowledgeable medical doctor is always helpful but one without practical experience in alcoholism has neutral to negative value.

Please don't waste any more time suffering alone. Act in one direction or another to end the solitary suffering. Avail yourself of some type of assistance.

If we can be of any assistance in locating outpatient services, AA meetings, etc. in your area just ask.

[JudyKayTee]

Sweetpi, I understand your concerns but I think this needs to be one step at a time. DrBill is the resident expert.

You need to find support wherever it is available as quickly as you can.

Please come back and "talk" with us -

[DrBill100]

"...... I do need some kind of outside support because I feel like falling off the wagon again," you recognize. Then the depressive thought pattern intrudes, "he makes it very difficult to stay sober because of all the fighting and stress. I agree I need to reach sobriety and then make decisions because I cannot think clearly at the moment. It's hard because I have to rely on him for everything right now. I have no job, one part because of the drinking and the second part..the economy and nothing in this area right now. He has one of the best jobs in the area. Second, I do not have a license and have to rely on him to get around. In between a rock and a hard place. I do welcome any advice." :)" and tells you all the reasons why you cannot succeed.

Talk back. Counter that by listing a few of the things that will help you to succeed.

It's tough at this particular juncture. But the alcohol is gone from your system now and your body is busy making repairs and readjustments. It will get clearer day by day if not hour by hour.