[Shuggy123]

I have been talking to this girl for 6ish months. She tells me she loves me and then within the week she tells me she need/wants space. It's not a bad thing she says. It has been 2 months now of this needs/wants space. She tells me "I have a lot on my plate" "my past has changed me" "I don't deserve someone like you" "This isn't fair to you" (like she is scared things went so fast) I have been trying to be supportive and I have tried not to bother or talk to her too much. If I ever do she gets upset with me. She will say things like this isn't working or I am done with this. But then will say just give me time I want you to understand me. "I am trying to have you be part of my life with the way I am" what does that mean! Is she just taking me for a ride? What do I do? She tells me she shuts people out when they get close and she is trying to let me in. She just tells me this is the way she is. I ask do you want this to be over? She says no. Do you just want to be friends she says no. do you want a break? She says no just give me time? What do I do! She says I still love you... she doesn't talk to me if I don't say something to her. She says when I am ready I will talk to you.

I am sure this post is a mess but I am really upset I do love this girl.

[mystific]

Well she sounds like she'd be one heck of an emotional rollercoaster ride.

My thoughts would be she needs time to sort her own head/life out before she sees.. anyone.

You have two choices.

a: move on and retain your sanity

b: stick with it, buckle up, get some cotton wool and pad up.. as I don't see it getting smoother anytime soon.

[Lovely33]

Have you told her that you love her back? Just wondering

However, coming from a girl like me who also might build walls and shut guys off in the snap of a finger: We do want to be with you more than anything, but we are so scared that we won't have our me time, our independence, and that in the end you'll hurt us-that we shut the door to our heart. It can be very hard to get back in, its going to take time. I'd honestly just wait it out. Don't send her any messages or anything. You have to wait, she has to let you back in herself.

[ironhide262]

have been talking to this girl for 6ish months.

Do you mean just talking.. that's it?

It's been my experience that when you get this type of reaction from a girl she is simply looking for a way out of the relationship or at least that is the direction she is moving to.

Regardless of the reason, you must think for yourself now. There is never any point in sitting around and waiting for someone who doesn't seem to be willing to work with you or be straight up about what she's feeling.It's never ever right or fair to expect to be put up on a shelf or sit on a fence waiting for her to figure out whatever... nothing but a crazy rollercoaster ride of emotions!

I would simply let her go, move on and do my own thing.It sucks and it's a harsh reality to accept but you have to draw a line in the sand at some point. One day she may want to cross over to your side but that decision lays entirely in her hands.

[amicon]

Come on,don't be somebody's puppydog-move on and give her all the time in the world, as in this is over,-whilst you go do why o you are thing.

[88sunflower]

Did you by chance tell her that you loved her? Maybe she said it because she felt obligated to say it in return. I would just back off and leave her to her troubles. Whatever time she needs or space just let her have at it. Her actions don't sound very stable for any kind of relationship. I think in the end if you did try to pursue more you will be the one hurting, confused and a bit crazy from her emotional roller coaster ride. Before she makes you in a position to pass judgement on all girls move on and find someone emotionally stable and ready for love.

[Shuggy123]

Yes I said I loved her back.

[Shuggy123]

No she came to me and said I loved you and I did say it back.

[Shuggy123]

No not just talking...

[Shuggy123]

What are the chances she will let me back in? One day she says its over lets be friends the next just please listen to me and give me time I am trying...

[Lovely33]

I'd say just completely don't speak to her for a bit, and when she does contact you- it will probably be her ultimate decision. Just know, that if she does end things, she's doing it out of fear.

[Shuggy123]

So there will be no changing her mind?

[Lovely33]

I would say ultimately, no. She seems independent and sure of herself, except when it comes to this love situation. I'd say you'll just have to hope for the best. If its meant to be it'll happen. Remember you can't make someone love you. Trust me.

[talaniman]

You may love this girl, but in the 6 months you have known her its obvious that she doesn't have the same kind of love for you. Maybe you both have different ideas of what love is and don't understand each other, and for whatever reasons your ideas about what to do about it are conflicted. Back off, way off, because it seems that the issues she has, or you have are to big for you to be resolved, and you have no choice but to explore other options.

For whatever reasons you are not connecting, you have to leave it alone, and do your own thing, and stop expecting her to want to do it with you. She has many issues to deal with, apparently, and you can't help her, and she doesn't want you to.

Sorry guy, but you have to stop running head first into a brick wall. You tried, it ain't working for you.

[88sunflower]

You can't make her love you. If she wants to be with you she will be with you. Simple as that. There is nothing you can do to make her love you if she doesn't want to love you. I am sorry you feel this way for her and its so confusing in return. But truly you should look at other options. You don't want to jump threw hoops for this girl only to have her say she wants to be with you when she is sending other signals.

[Shuggy123]

Well its been 2 weeks sense we last talked, my guess is she isn't going to talk to me again. Thanks for the advice everyone I really appreciated all of it.

[88sunflower]

Keep your chin up and stay positive. There are a million fish in the sea as that old saying goes. Its true. You will move on and this will only be a brief memory.

[talaniman]

Take this as a blessing in disguise so you can do better next time. And there will be a next time with some else.

[Shuggy123]

I still wish I knew what happened or why things turned out like this. It bothers to no end, I can't stop thinking about it. Any tips to get my mind off this :(

[talaniman]

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