[Sugarplum13]

I have been with my boyfriend for a year. Prior to him, I was in a long-term relationship. During this relationship, I was verbally, mentally and sometimes physically abused. I turned to drugs for a short period, saw the error of my ways and stopped completely. I haven't touched anything, nor have I wanted to for four years now. I also had two children in this relationship. My ex still bothers me to this day about coming back to him (after he has thrown me out twice). I am trying so hard to move on and be happy with my new life BUT... my current boyfriend of one year finds it necessary to make references to my past drug use on a daily basis and interrogates me about why I stayed with my ex for so long because "he doesn't understand it". I have answered every question he has had for me with 100% honesty. He never believes me. He insists that I still have feelings for my ex and I don't. I'm over it. Every time the subject of my ex getting our kids comes up, he gives me an hour long lecture on why they shouldn't be with their dad. I thought this was OK at first, but it has been a year. I feel tortured at times. He repeats it over and over again, but claims he does so because he cares so much about me. I beg to differ and I'm thinking about walking away. Any advice?

[Cat1864]

I am going to be blunt: Leave him and his 'caring' behind and find a good counselor or support group for abused women.

You've left most of the past behind you, but part of it seems to still be there for you to stay with this person for a year. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. You just need to learn to trust your instincts again.

You deserve someone who really cares about you and your children instead of a person who uses emotions to attempt to control you. He is being just as abusive as your ex was. He is only doing it in a slightly more subtle way.

I congratulate you on getting out of the past relationship and getting yourself clean. That took a lot of will power and strength that this person is trying to take away from you. I think you will be a lot happier and healthier once you tell him what he can do with his concept of 'caring'.

Good luck and take of yourself and your children.

[amicon]

Leave him and get professional help to work through the
Abuse you've suffered,including the verbal and emotional kind your current boyfriend is subjecting you too.

[talaniman]

You got out of one abusive relationship, you will get out of this ABUSIVE relationship also. Get help if you need it.

Good Luck!

[Fr_Chuck]

This is a abusive relationship and he is very emotionally abusive to you.

Leave him NOW, and don't jump into any relationship till you get solid on you and happy with you, Then don't get someone to be a help, or a anything other than a friend