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pathfinder527 · May 23, 2011, 09:33 AM

Here's a question. I was single, the woman was and still is married. I had a vasectomy 2 1/2 weeks prior to our fling. I go away with the military and come back to find out she had a child. She doesn't want me in his life, only to verbally acknowledge him as my son and get him a present or two for Christmas and his birthday. He does look like me but she has never pushed for a DNA test. She has said on several occations that if she loses her job she will go after me in court. However her husbands name is on the birth certicate. Does she have any legal foothold against me or is she just blowing smoke. This is in Long Island, NY just for the jurisdiction stuff...

AK lawyer · May 23, 2011, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by pathfinder527

Here's a question. I was single, the woman was and still is married. I had a vasectomy 2 1/2 weeks prior to our fling. I go away with the military and come back to find out she had a child. She doesn't want me in his life, only to verbally acknowledge him as my son and get him a present or two for Christmas and his birthday. He does look like me but she has never pushed for a DNA test. She has said on several occations that if she loses her job she will go after me in court. However her husbands name is on the birth certicate. Does she have any legal foothold against me or is she just blowing smoke. This is in Long Island, NY just for the juristiction stuff.....

Please do not post a new question on a thread started by someone else. It tends to confuse things.

I see no reason to verbally acknowledge paternity under these circumstances. In my opinion, she probably is "just blowing smoke".

this8384 · May 23, 2011, 01:47 PM

Originally Posted by pathfinder527

Here's a question. I was single, the woman was and still is married. I had a vasectomy 2 1/2 weeks prior to our fling. I go away with the military and come back to find out she had a child. She doesn't want me in his life, only to verbally acknowledge him as my son and get him a present or two for Christmas and his birthday. He does look like me but she has never pushed for a DNA test. She has said on several occations that if she loses her job she will go after me in court. However her husbands name is on the birth certicate. Does she have any legal foothold against me or is she just blowing smoke. This is in Long Island, NY just for the juristiction stuff.....

As already stated, please do not piggyback your question onto someone else's question.

According to this:
New York City Family Court
It appears that her husband is considered the child's legal father.

This woman is playing games and you're allowing her to do so by sending gifts to a child who may not even be yours. Either stop contacting her or demand a DNA test.

RickJ · May 23, 2011, 02:05 PM

Pathfinder, we have moved your question to a new "thread".

ScottGem · May 23, 2011, 03:35 PM

A child born to a married couple will automatically have the husband as the legal father. Each state has different rules about challenging that paternity. But unless you or one or both of the parents challenge it you have no rights or responsibilities towards that child.

cdad · May 23, 2011, 04:07 PM

Is the husband aware that this child according to her is not his child?

ballengerb1 · May 23, 2011, 06:29 PM

I agree, its just smoke. Tell her that you demand a DNA test and watch her blink.

Fr_Chuck · May 23, 2011, 06:46 PM

Yes, first most likely not your child. Legally the husband is the father ( even if your child)

I would tell her to go to ( perhaps a warmer area) and ignore her.

Or go after her, demand a DNA test, tell her you want joint custody and see if she backs off.

emtdan · May 23, 2011, 06:49 PM

Before you demand the DNA test, did you ever have a sperm count done after your vasectomy? 2 1/2 weeks isn't a long time. It can take several weeks or longer before you have a zero sperm count.